last night i had a mini-freak out regarding le ol' rank list. i go back and forth of being confident with my choices to thinking i'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life...ugh. i have a meeting today with my mentor to discuss things a bit. it sucks that you have to make these decisions having only been to a place like ONE DAY. and i'm worried that i'm being seduced by programs because they seem really cool on the outside, but maybe they're not so fun once you're in? and my list needs to be finalized within the week because i'm going to PERU soon! so that increases the anxiety, blah. so compound the rank list worries with the worry that i just won't match and then you've got a really neurotic frylime on your hands...
and one of my gen surg friends at school and i were thinking about having some sort of informal "talk it out" session with the M3s wanting to do gen surgery...people are desperate for help and it seems like there's not a good way to get that help at school. granted, i feel very aware of everything because i 1)psychotically look everything up online, 2) stalked my mentor (ha, he told me to come meet with him for help), and 3) bugged the upperclassmen as much as i could. but i think there's some folks out there that are absolutely clueless, especially with the kinds of questions i've been getting. so maybe after match day we'll have a sit down.
revisiting infectious disease lectures are kind of fun when there's no pressure of looming test ahead. i'm remembering that learning is fun! and also that you should never go ass-to-mouth, and always wash your hands after you poop! yay! yesterday's lectures were all about various things that make you itchy or make you violently poop. fun day. today we're getting some shots...for me i've got to get hepatitis A and typhoid booster. luckily yellow fever is good for 10 years and i had that one done in college.
oh, and i had a really encouraging conversation with an attending i worked with. he referred to my first half of med school crappy-ness as my "achille's heel". i like that phrase. he had some nice things to say about me and some good advice for my future, and it just made me feel good on the inside. it's nice to know that you have some fans in different places, because you never know when interviewers know your attendings and will CALL and TALK ABOUT YOU without you ever knowing, unless you just happen by their office to say hello. so, it's just a good feeling.
alright, got to get ready for class...it's at 9:00..woo! and i think we get a free lunch today. double woo!