Tuesday, May 04, 2010

frustrations, i suppose

so why is it that a lot of the psych people are trying to convince me to do psych?

today i was attempting to talk to my catatonic patient (who DOES talk to me, but not to most other people, and especially not in public) in front of a bazillion people, the attending says "sometimes we get tattoos for the M3s that say 'psychiatrist' and put them on their faces". i looked at him like "wtf" and he goes "yeah, you should really consider being a psychiatrist!". and i'm like, damn. then i wigged out via text to K who then consulted other friends sitting around the lunch table and they all decided that i need to do surgery, not psych. psych is enjoyable, but so was ob/gyn, so was half of medicine, and maybe some of fam med? if i wasn't going to do surgery, i'd do psych. yes, i like it a lot, BUT, there are some BIG THINGS that are keeping it from being #1. surgery is still way ahead. it's not like an instance where i feel a coin flip is in order. because if it really were like that, 50/50, i'd apply to both residencies and just see what happens. but it's not. and that's that. plus i hate memorizing drugs. too many drugs in psych. WAY too many. and i really don't like the whole "let's throw different meds at you until you're happy/not seeing visions/not trying to kill people" sort of way to fix people. give me a knife, a needle, and some thread. and suction, please. i need to stop thinking about "lifestyle" because WHO KNOWS HOW IT WILL BE UNTIL IT IS.

i might have some wonderful friends come stay with me this weekend. i'm hoping that they decide to come for sure. it would be a nice thing.

i'm excited about dinner tonight...H and i are planning to make some lamb shoulder chops, broccoli, and polenta. SUPER excited!

ok, about to do some world questions. i can't wait to stop sucking at them.

4 comments:

TheMemoirist said...

Before I started med school, I thought I might be interested in psych. Now, I have a behavioral sciences final tomorrow, and I don't think I could ever see myself as a psychiatrist after realizing what actual practice as a psychiatrist must be like! Good luck to you!

tinyletters said...

You can still enjoy something and it not be your calling!

frylime said...

thanks for the comments. you're absolutely right, TL! i just need to tell everyone to CHILL...

chasingzebras said...

I don't think these residents and attendings realize how much they influence us/cause major freak outs sometimes. I had a resident on surgery and a surgeon tell me I needed to strongly consider surgery and it really threw me for a loop for a while. Fortunately now I know I'll be doing short surgeries (woot!) a few days a week in OB. I still doubt my decision some days too. Some days I'm super excited about it, other days wonder if I'm making the right decision. It'll all work out eventually, right?