Wednesday, January 27, 2010

what did i do today?

so what have i done today? let me think...
  • woke up at 4:00 am. wednesdays are special.
  • went to the hospital and found out one of my patients died over the night. which was not unexpected. which was sad because i predicted he was probably going to pass away last night, and he did.
  • stuck my finger in two different butt holes. gotta love the rectal exams!
  • saw 3 colonoscopies.
  • passed up the chance to scrub into an EVAR (endoscopic abdominal aortic aneurysm repair) since i have scrubbed TWO OPEN AAA REPAIRS THIS WEEK. oh yeah, i don't think i want to be a vascular surgeon, ha. too much squirty blood.
  • ate some good lunch. and peach cobbler. oh yeah.
  • realized that my gastritis/ulcer/whateverthehellitis is starting to act up again. need to buy some PPI to fix that stat.
  • scrubbed in a laparoscopic gastrojejunostomy and got to DRIVE THE CAMERA! and i didn't get told that i sucked or anything, so maybe i did a good job? it was fun! i'm glad i played all those video games growing up.
  • got to put down some bandaids on a patient, got overly excited (because i got to do something finally) and the resident laughed a lot.
  • left the hospital after being there 13 hours. THIRTEEN! there went my gym time. (i'll go tomorrow, no big deal.)
  • came home and ate some curry chicken with H. yums.
so now i'm laying on the couch and blogging. and i'm sleepy. i'm probably going to bed within the next 10-15 minutes. but i want to watch the state of the union address. or finish it, at least. nancy pelosi blinks too damn much! and joe biden is funny because he keeps grinning and/or clapping at inappropriate moments. and i love how obama is putting some jokes in his speech. it makes it lively. and michelle can do no wrong!

i'm so excited about his weekend...i have the whole weekend OFF! and my school is having a kick ass party on friday with awesome music and good beer. gotta love music and beer. especially after a hard week. but i don't care if the week is hard. i'm telling all the residents and attendings that i really enjoy surgery and that i'm seriously considering it as a career, and so far i've gotten good feedback. this week i got an eval back from my last 2 week rotation and the surgeon commented that i had "good surgical skills". that made me so happy! and i don't care if it's a generic comment, i'm just happy that someone noted that about me.

oh yeah, and i need to put my date down for step 2 CK. i've got my permit, just got to schedule it and start studying like a mofo. i wanna get a 300! hahahaha, i kid i kid. but seriously, i have to do well. for reals.

alright, time to go to bed before i say something weird, but i guess it's too late for that. night!

Thursday, January 21, 2010


i'm having a mid-med school crisis. i don't know what i want to be when i grow up. i just charged $505 on my visa to pay for step 2 ck. (actually, did that yesterday.) what if i suck at that? alas. what if i can't figure out what makes me happy? because they say JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. well, i say WE CAN ONLY DO 6 CORE ROTATIONS M3 YEAR SO HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. because i'm not at all competitive, i'm going to have to frontload my m4 schedule with rotations in my "desired" field to have a chance. and all the stuff i'm semi-interested in are a touch competitive. UGH.

i like surgery, but do i? are the surg residents bitter EVERYWHERE? do i want to devote that much time to learning a trade? but then there's always the allure of private practice. then there's ob/gyn...i'm so not a girly girl. omg. and i HATE managing chronic conditions. HATE IT. and if i'm going to be a surgeon, i want to be an awesome surgeon who does it all the time. EM? eh...drunk/crazy/whatever people piss me off. gas? then i'd be the surgeon's bitch who sits around and does nothing. i could go on, but i'll stop.

maybe i'm all moody because i'm at the VA. the VA makes me sad. it smells bad and there's a lot of folks who are being kept alive that shouldn't be alive. (sort of like on inpatient peds!) there was a funny moment when my patient went crazy (literally) and had to be transferred to the psych floor. i hope i'm not on his special list...alas. all i can say is, if i were to hear voices, i would come up with a cool name for my voice, and not something generic like "fred" or something. my voices would be named "eskimo pot pie" or "obama rocks your mama" or something..."quetzlquatl". not FRED. come ON.

so now to calm down i'm going to prepare to make mac and cheese. and read about the sigmoid colon. i DO like surgery, but i'm going crazy. and doubting what i like. and what if i suck? or can't get in somewhere? or maybe i'm destined to be something else and I'LL NEVER KNOW. then i'll be miserable forever? or should i just do path? haha, can't do path...would make K mad at me...! j/k.

Friday, January 15, 2010

of cabbages and kings...

yesterday i scrubbed in to 2 CABGs...coronary artery bypass surgery. TWO OF THEM. BACK TO BACK. my legs still hurt. and i was on call. luckily call wasn't bad. (after i finish this update i'm going to bed.) first CABG lasted from about 8:30-5:00 (8.5 hours?) and then the second one was like 6:00-11:00 (5 hours). that hour or so (i think it was less than an hour between the two) i met up with H who so graciously brought me a sandwich to eat...i sat in his car, crammed down the sandwich, and then ran back to the OR to get scrubbed in to the emergent CABG. and of course the ER folks gave the patient plavix so the pt was bleeding everywhere...i counted at least 4 units of packed rbcs and 2 units of platelets in addition to all the cell saver units. but i learned all about CABGs...they're actually a bit of fun when they let you sew up the leg for the vein grafts and retract the HEART and whatnot. but the sewing of the grafts onto the heart...well...that's boring because 1) you can't see (it's microsurgery basically), and 2) it takes freaking forever. i also learned that a cup of coffee and a granola bar before 6:00 am can last you through 5:00 pm...

my upper level resident gave me a ton of suturing technique tips and advice yesterday...he said i was doing a great job and i'm excited to learn the new technique he showed me. supposedly it will make me faster and look more graceful. but the way i'm suturing now is completely acceptable (it's the way everyone is taught), but i want to learn the "advanced way" because i really like to sew. goodness...maybe i will be a surgeon after all...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

weekend laziness

so by a stroke of luck i was given the whole weekend off, woo! and i got done at noon on friday...i went out to lunch with H and then donated some platelets and packed red blood cells...and puked all over myself. the anticoagulant can make you sick, and i guess i got sick. alas! got to puke in a paper bag like they have in the airplanes. it's all good though...went out that night with friends and had a lot of fun. yesterday just lazed around recovering from all the excitement. plus my mom was running a race and i went out to see her. fun times! but i was so worn out! today i did some reading, went to the gym, and made some KING CAKE! and some loaves of bread...unfortunately my bread loaves look weird, but i'm sure they taste good. the king cake is excellent! i think i ate too much just now...alas...

this is one more week on CT surg...i think there are 2 CABGs scheduled for this week. so another slow complaints from me!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

ct surgery

ct (cardiothoracic) surgery is fun! namely because it is CHILL this week...ha. only 1 surgery scheduled, and it was yesterday. yours truly scrubbed lasted 6 hours! but it was SO COOL to see the HEART PUMPING. AND THEN STOPPED. AND THEN CUT OPEN. AND THEN FIXED. AND THEN RESTARTED. yeah. very very cool. and i got to retract the right ventricle. i was kind of scared. ha. didn't want to rip open the heart. and i was all over the tubes connecting to the ECMO machine...basically the heart/lung machine that pumps the bloods...i love surgery! i love the insides and being able to TOUCH the insides!

today was NOTHING. woo! break time!

tomorrow, my resident is forcing my partner and i to talk to the M1/M2s about what it's like to be a med student on a surgery rotation...ha. shouldn't be too painful, since i like surgery and talking to large groups of people. and free lunch maybe? probably. i'll do almost anything for a free lunch!

Friday, January 01, 2010

happy new year!

twenty-ten should be a good one...

this year i am expected to:
  • figure out what i want to do for the rest of my life
  • somehow pass and superbly ace the STEP 2 exam so i can at least have a shot at getting into a decent residency
  • fly on multiple planes and interview/suck up to strangers as to allow me to be favorably ranked
  • hopefully go to SPAIN! this summer
  • run a 5k with K (i totally am stealing/copying her new year's resolution)

it's kind of daunting when i think about it. but i learned a lot about myself in 2009:
  • i can survive the first 2 years of med school
  • i passed STEP 1 so at least i know that that i meet the bare minimum competency requirement of becoming a doctor (so far)
  • i'm a good M3 student...gotten great remarks thus far
  • i like surgery type things, and i may not be a pediatrician after all
  • people can be assholes at conferences and try to call you out while you give your presentation, but eh, what can you say. i stayed in that fancy hotel for free and got to have a nice vacation with H otherwise...
  • and much much more...
today i'm planning a traditional new year's feast with H. cornbread, black eyed peas, greens, +/- cabbage (i think if you have greens it's ok), some sort of meat and dessert...i'm kind of excited about it!

happy 2010 everyone!