Friday, December 31, 2010

end of 2010

2010 was a great year. currently just hanging out with H while we veg out and watch tv. thought i'd recap some of the more memorable moments of this past year...
  • deciding that i was definitely going into general surgery.
  • going to honduras with of the best trips of my life.
  • taking the step 2 ck and kicking its ass! woo!
  • making my first batch of wine. even though it tasted horribly...ha.
  • all the fun road trips...
  • getting to close fascia for the first time.
  • playing along on the interview trail.
there's obviously more, but i can't think right now of all of them. H and i were discussing them earlier in the day, and most of them revolve around food, ha. drinking coconut water on the beach, eating deliciously prepared local fish, finally figuring out how to make the perfect pizza, etc etc.

so my hopes for 2011 are:
  • be as healthy as possible by eating well and making time for exercise
  • spend quality time with H, friends, and family
  • adjust quickly to residency, wherever that may be, and learn all that i can
  • get a dog! hee hee...
happy new year everyone!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

post holiday yay

i've had a wonderful holiday this year. no complaints. today i went shopping with some christmas money and got some new socks and some lovely born shoes...i needed some "grown up" nice walking around shoes...these look like boots but don't go over the ankles. i'm pretty excited about wearing them around. born is an awesome brand...never go wrong with those shoes.

K and i have a plan to get BUFF...started off yesterday with some weight training. today it hurts to walk up/down stairs, squat to potty, you name it. it's a good thing, i know, but damn! haha...don't get results unless you make it hurt, and i feel that if i can keep this up i'll be feeling healthier in no time.

i am making a pizza tonight for dinner, and i'm pretty excited about it. making some pizza dough now, will have an olive oil and garlic base, mushrooms, caramelized onions, and bacon and parmesan cheese, topped off with an arugula salad. YUMS.

i scheduled my flight for my last interview, and now i just need to decide what hotel to use. 10 interviews...goodness. i hope to get 1 more! or 2 more? or how about a zillion more? haha...after talking to some friends over the holidays, i think my list is pretty much cemented. but who knows, everything is fickle anyways. i hope H and i can make a road trip during MLK weekend to a place i really liked but he wasn't able to travel with me the first time. or if not there, then anywhere, really. ha.

also, i need to learn some spanish! i'm going to peru in february with school...super excited! any medical spanish books my readers would recommend?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

i like fried eggs.

and i ate one this morning. it was delicious, with a bit of freshly cracked black pepper and sea salt. and the yolk was just perfectly runny, but not too much either.

i plan on doing quite a bit the next few days as far as holiday-things go...i plan to bake breads, make a pie, knit some hats...i should probably get started soon for the day. i've got 2 batches of "starter" going for the bread. i'm trying to infuse some sourdough essence into the bread, so i cheated and jump started the starter with some yeast. (normally you just allow the naturally occurring yeast float in and start doing their magic, but time, my friends, time.) i started everything yesterday morning and will keep it up through today, will bake tomorrow. i don't want to give "old bread" away. today i should probably knit and possibly make the's a "serve frozen" pie so it can sit for a while i would imagine. or i could just do it tomorrow too. ha. i also need to wrap some presents. i guess with all the traveling, i just haven't felt "holiday-y" yet.

so my last interview...well, i wanted to love it. i was so excited about the possibility of living in the area, easy distance from home, etc, etc. however, it was just possibly one of the most disappointing experiences i've had. it actually wasn't too bad, but you could just tell everyone was so tired. one of my interviewers was actively nodding off while i was talking to him! and no, he was NOT a resident. i didn't know what to do, so i just ignored it. what else was i supposed to do, bust him out? overall, just disappointed, and i was perfectly willing to overlook some things for the location.

with all that far i definitely have places that make me happy. i know i will end up where i need to be.

ok, so i should probably get started on my list of things to do! i am SO THANKFUL for m4 year, you don't understand. a few days of sitting around doing household chores, relaxing, it's so nice. it makes the hard work worth it.

ps...if i see another freaking perfume commercial i think i will vomit.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

laying on the couch and i love it

finally, a chance to breathe between interviews.

i have been on 7 now, got another this weekend. 2 in january. i'm hoping to possibly pick up a few more as people cancel, but who knows if that will happen. it's hard to keep everything separated. i stopped taking notes directly after each interview...just got too tired of doing "extra". i have been doing a running rank list in my mind though, so that's good. i'm not sure of which program is officially "1" and "2", but 3-7 are pretty much set. maybe i'll rearrange the ones of "not so much wanting to go here, but it would be ok", but right now the top 4 are definitely the top four. i am hoping that i really like/love this coming up interview. it has that pre-interview potential of being my new number 1, but who knows. i've gone to places where i have been pleasantly surprised and places where i was like HELL NO.

i understand how certain people have to scramble now, after having met some pre-lims who are interviewing for first year categorical spots like me. hopefully i don't come off as socially awkward or inept. i'm glad that i learned how to dress and act professionally. yes, i cuss like a sailor when i want to, but i don't do it on my interview day, a.k.a. "first date" with the new program. i wear pantyhose with skirt suit, and i wear black pumps. i also don't tell people that "i really just want to go to ___, just here for back up" when the program coordinator is within earshot. saw a girl wearing a skirt so tight on her butt and ruffled i was embarrassed for her. cute skirt, but better for a night out on the town with a halter and some hootchie shoes. i also saw a girl wear leopard print flats, which maybe it doesn't matter, but i was told to err on the side of conservative female fashion for general surgery interviews. i know i looked appropriate, and i won't be talked about for being "that girl". how can you be taken seriously if you look like prostitute playing dress up for a day? and freaking get some concealer for interview-stress breakouts. it's not expensive, and goes a long way. i'm so glad that i invested in some because zits happen, and i don't want people staring at me and ignoring what i have to say.

ok, got on a bit of a rant there, but goodness. sometimes even i can't believe it, and i'm there seeing it in real time.

so now i'm going to go to the gym with K and get some lunch afterwards. woo!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

don't have to work until feb

and i like it that way.

interview #4 went very well. i really liked the program, the area, the residents. it's definitely a contender. i'm realizing that rank list time is going to be some tough decisions.

i have 4 more interviews this month, then 2 more in january. i'm excited about all the possibilities.

and i'm so glad to not be in the ER. i effin' hate that place.

i'll do some better posts later. promise. it's just hard to post when i'm feeling lazy and tired. i fly tomorrow out to far away land. alas!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

i hate the ER

really, that is all. the ER is a place where my soul dies ever so slowly. alas, i will have to share details later.

interviews #2 and #3 both went really well. interview #4 is next week. right now i'm at 10 another offer last week and i'm really excited about it.

ok, time for dinner with friends! woo!

Monday, November 08, 2010

interview #1

survived my first interview! it was a great experience, couldn't have asked for a better first interview. i felt like i had gotten all of my questions asked, saw all that i wanted to see, and feel like i can make a well informed decision come rank list time. i'm not going to publicly identify any programs, but i can at least write a pros/cons list for me to remember and so anyone out there can follow along...

what i wore:
  • pre-interview dinner: advertised as "very casual", so i wore nice dark jeans, ann taylor loft knit shirt, and cardigan over. i felt like i was appropriate dressed, even though i was the only girl there wearing jeans. i fit in with the residents.
  • interview day: black skirt suit with hot pink shirt underneath, ha! wore my hair down because i'm plain like that. i actually blow-dried it too...hee hee. and i carried a black leather zip around folio, which was useful because they didn't give out folders for the papers they handed out.
  • residents seemed VERY HAPPY. talked about how laid-back program was, how everyone got along well with each other and staff. i didn't feel like anyone was lying to me, ha. seems like a close knit group.
  • claims to follow 80 hr workweek rules without having any major issues.
  • research opportunities, unlimited conferences if you have something to present, and they pay for it.
  • good case numbers.
  • tons of outdoor activities close by, beautiful scenery.
  • close to a big city.
  • nice simulation center.
  • clean/nice hospital.
  • buy your loupes 2nd year.
  • textbook fund, meal card, free parking, child care, etc.
  • residents don't have any problems getting fellowships.
  • level 1 trauma center.
  • city itself is a bit "blah", but it could work.
  • lack of restaurant diversity. (but there's a good korean place 1 hr away!)
  • i was literally the only minority i saw for a good percentage of the time (not in hospital)...H asked me if i noticed people staring at me, and i kinda did, but then i really noticed it after he mentioned it. i know i stand out, but goodness!
  • no separate surgery resident lounge, and the resident lounge they had was a bit underwhelming. (didn't think this one would be a big deal, but if i'm going to be spending more time in the hospital than out, i want a nice lounge dammit! i guess i'm spoiled by home.) call room was typical.
  • doesn't have much penetrating trauma. (i also didn't think this would bother me, but if i don't see it, how can i learn it?
so at the end of the day, i think i could be happy there, and H says that he could be happy there as well. we could "make it work". but it was interesting for me to see what all i took for granted in a program. i definitely found myself actively comparing it to my home institution. what i learned about myself is that i want a program that is a bit more "hard core" as far as pathology and patient population. i would like a nice diverse place to live (and then that would also affect patient population and see more variety of problems). however, i feel like this program could be a good option for me and that i would get a solid education. i am glad i went there to interview and will definitely be putting it on my rank list.

questions i was asked during my 4 interviews:
  • what happened during your first year of medical school?
  • where else have you applied/gotten interviews?
  • have you applied to any prelim programs?
  • where do you see yourself in 10 years?
  • what has been the most challenging thing/patient you have had to face thus far?
  • why this institution?
  • if you were a spice, what spice would you be and why? (my FAVORITE! ha!)
  • do you still play piano? (i wrote a single PHRASE in my personal statement about piano and it just goes to prove they really do read that thing...2 people asked me about it.)
hope that helps some of you out next interview isn't until a week and a half from now, but then i have 2 back to back.

i'm now going to start prepping to make an onion prosciutto soup...yum!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

it's november

is it really november already? can't believe it. no more surgery months for me until i'm an intern next year...omg! i'm sad, i had a great month. i learned how to drive the camera nicely and got to practice a lot of sewing. this month i'm on ER. i think it will be ok. i predict i'm going to be that super annoying student who's like CAN I SUTURE, CAN I PUT IN THE LINE, ME ME ME ME ME! gotta get my money's worth!

i leave friday for my first interview. H is coming with me, since he only has to miss 1 day of work. flying + driving, alas. i bought a gps gadget, it should be coming today in the mail. can't wait to play with it. i am spending so much money too, it's kind of ridiculous, but necessary. i hope my new set of loans come in soon because another shot in the arm would be nice. also, i am checking my email like crazy. deans letters went out monday, and i really hope i get some more offers soon. i'm still at 9 interviews. yes, i am thrilled that i have 9, much better than zero, but i am GREEDY. i want MORE. i am excited about all of them in different ways. i have no idea where i want to end up, but i won't know until i go, right?

so today i have nothing going on...i want to find a folio for important papers, etc. i would love to get a bag, but oh well. i have a nice purse my parents got me for graduation a while back i can use, but i'm not a purse kind of person and would rather carry something else around for keys, etc. i got a london fog trench coat (in black) for everywhere that is cold and SNOWING. omg. i need to get hose, but i think for this first interview i'll wear my pants. aak! too many decisions. also, i need to go by the bank. and then K invited me over for MEATBALLS with spaghettis, and omg, MEATBALLS!!!

so i'm just going to sit around and be scared. i need to think of interview questions! review! aak! scared! i'm afraid i'm going to be spastic or something...alas. but i can always smile and talk rednecky which is cute coming from a southern asian girl, right?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

it has been a while

i know i know, i haven't blogged in a while, and honestly, don't care. HA. take THAT.

today i'm post call, ate some indian food with my team, went to sleep around 3:00 or so and didn't wake up till 7:40...awesome. call wasn't so bad, actually got to sleep some, but i think i'm just in a constant state of sleep deprivation so i take what i can get.

surgery is going so well...i love my team and i've gotten to see a lot of good "bread and butter" type of general cases. i've gotten better at driving cameras for laparoscopic cases. one of the residents the other day commented that my suturing has improved. they've even let me sew up some fascia, which is kind of a big deal, since there are BAD THINGS that can happen. today i got schooled on posture and how to stand, which seems like it wouldn't be a big deal, but it is! even got to do a sort of umbilicoplasty today without being too awkward.

so on the interview front...right now i have 8 scheduled. i'm so happy...i'm very excited to go visit and see what each place has to offer. i have gotten 10 or so official rejections, but that was and is to be expected. i still have yet to hear from the majority of my programs, but dean's letters don't get uploaded till november 1, so i imagine that a lot of places wait until then to holler at applicants. at the end of the day though, i'm so glad i dropped a ton of money on my applications...better to be safe than sorry, and it is the rest of my life anyway, might as well maximize what i can.

a side note, i can see where i could really get into laparoscopic surgery if i had the chance to play and practice. i got to play with the simulator for a few minutes and it was fun.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

new month

yesterday i started my acute care surgery month (ACS). 2 chiefs, a 2nd year resident, and then ME! no interns...and people who i get along with well. we will have M3 students rotating through each week. it really is amazing to me how much you learn as a student, a year ago i knew squat and now i'm able to teach the M3s all kinds of stuff. also, i'm kind of sad...this is my last surgery month this year. 4 in a row, not that bad. but i'll probably try to come back to conferences and stuff and scrub in a case or two in the spring.

interview count: 3. they are all scheduled. i have 2 in november, so i'm hoping that the ER will let me be slightly flexible in that regard. then dec/jan off for hopefully a zillion interviews! i would love to have at least 10...15 would be ideal. i'm prepared to drop a load of cash on everything because this IS the rest of my life, right? (also insert "fear of scrambling" here.)

the first thing i did yesterday was probe some rank butt abscess. ok, the abscess had been drained, but not so properly, or the infection was too rip roaring and had multiplied, but it was on the butt and i had to poke around in it. omg, the stink. definitely not the worst, not as bad as fournier's gangrene, but still, pretty rank. the poor M3s (who most definitely do not want to do surgery), i had them hold the patient up on the side because they were on the bigger side. and in a way, that's sad...i feel that this patient probably didn't know they had a butt abscess because they were so can't see that part of your body well anyway. later on we changed out a wound vac that was pretty drippy. again, the M3s didn't look too thrilled to be there, but you gotta do what you gotta do. me and the 2nd year res changed out the vac, put on a new one. then us students cleaned the patient's bed up and redid all the linens, etc. the best way to make a nurse love you? KEEP THE BED CLEAN OR CLEANER. and that's exactly what we did.

i have this weekend off, yay! H and i have some plans to ride bikes and!

Monday, September 20, 2010

yay for today

so today i got to put in my first femoral a-line! woo! ALL BY MYSELF!!! only needed about 4 sticks to get it...kept hitting venous but then i pulled the needle out, regrouped, went a little bit more lateral, and BAM! pulsatile flow!

and, I GOT MY FIRST INTERVIEW INVITATION TODAY! yay! exciting! and they are going to provide the hotel room! i am super pumped! and i'm very interested in the program...sounds like it could be right up my alley!

now i'm laying on the couch watching food network waiting for H to show up so i can get some dinner going. STARVING!

oh, and i've gotten 3 rejections so far. that's ok. i know it's going to happen, and i'd rather get an email telling me about it than get no notification at all.

alright, going to make some dinner now...thinking salad and an omelet, or something like that.

Monday, September 13, 2010

and so it begins

i got my first rejection today. alas. i know it's going to happen, and i'm not too upset over it, but it would have been nice to know some info up front. oh well. i think surgery sends out invites later than other specialties...i have friends already getting interviews, and while i'm happy for them, i can't help but think PICK ME PICK ME!!!

today i got inducted into the gold humanism honor society...nice dinner at school. the parents came, they were really happy. it was really humbling to know i got picked for it. and the speaker said something about being humanistic meant that you are a bit irrational, and then H was like THAT'S WHY YOU GOT IN, YOU'RE IRRATIONAL. ha, nice.

i love the sicu! i have a problem...i've enjoyed all the rotations i've done so far. it's also fun being on trauma call, seeing the patients in the ER, then seeing them in the OR, then seeing them in the sicu. talk about continuity of care. you don't need a stinking clinic for that! haha...

i'm still waiting on the opportunity to put in a chest tube...I WANT TO PUT IN A CHEST TUBE. it's just one of those things, i HAVE to do one. i also want to put in more central lines. i love that satisfaction of knowing i did it, and i did it right.

ok, bedtime. still sleepy from the crazy trauma call yesterday where everyone was having car wrecks or getting shot up. and the ER was consulting surgery like crazy. and i drank some wine so now i'm really tired. holla.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

let the waiting begin...

so i just did it. i just applied to all my programs on ERAS. all bazillion of them. and then to top that off, they charge an extra $70 to submit your step transcript. > $1000 for applications. alas. but it's DONE! now let's hope that i'm a bit more competitive than i think i am and i'll be turning down interviews, but i'll try not to do that of course.


here's my procedure count so far in the SICU:
- pulled chest tubes: 1
- central lines: 1 (left subclavian)

i'm on call tomorrow, so here's to hoping i do a lot of fun things. there are some NP students in the sicu so i probably won't get to do a lot of opportunities to put in lines, but a girl can hope, right?

alright, so now i get to decide on what i'm going to do for the rest of the day. was supposed to go to a cookout, but it looks as if that might not happen anymore. at least i can stop obsessing over this application and just wait for emails and phone calls...

Friday, September 03, 2010


put in my first central line today! woo! and no pneumothorax!

sicu is a nice month so far...lots of potential for procedures and lots of learning. plus more regular hours.

got some friends coming into town this weekend, happy to see them.

on call sunday, alas. even though labor day is monday, i'll be there in the morning at least. think me and H might grill out that day too. that would be quite nice.

still fiddling around with ERAS...hope to submit this weekend!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

end of a long month

i have today off! and then there's only 3 more days to vascular, i'm on call tomorrow too. then it's off to the SICU. it's been a fun and long month, really tiring, but certainly worth it. got to do a lot of things...amputate legs, sew a lot of skin, play with wires. i can certainly see how vascular is a fun specialty. granted, everyone's old and sick and won't stop smoking, but as long as people don't stop smoking, then you'll always have a job. plus, the disease process that affects their arteries will never completely stop, so you'll get a lot of repeat customers. (just looking at things from a business perspective...ha.) but if you have a patient that can't walk 2-3 minutes without having major bad cramping pain in their legs, and you fix it for them so that they can walk, AMAZING. i can't imagine how it feels to get a basic function of your life back. or if you're in chronic debilitating pain from a non-healing sore, and we can fix that for you, awesome. so i haven't completely scratched off vascular as a potential career choice, but i still love CT and then there's all those other fields of surgery i haven't been able to play with either...

applications go out sept 1, as in THIS COMING UP WEDNESDAY. omg. this weekend i need to assign my personal statement, transcript, letters of rec, photo...EVERYTHING to all my zillion programs i'm applying to. i'm debating one last rec far i have 3, and will ask for a fourth, but it's the fifth one that i'm debating. but i might not. most programs only need 3, and sometimes a fourth. i don't think i've seen any that want 5, but i guess it's possible. i need to get my photo taken for ERAS, haven't done it yet, but will do it on monday when i'm post call and looking extra crappy. today i'm going to look at some suits to get an idea of what i want. my lovely mom sent me suit money in the mail! yay!

also, i just really hope i get into a university-based residency (vs. community based one with no med students). i really want to teach the young'ins. i have to admit i'm a bit anxious about the whole process, based on my record and all. but someone told me recently that it looks good that i "finished strong". granted, would rather have a student who was strong the whole way through, but the fact that i've improved the way i have shows a lot. i sure do hope so. i hope that i'm a more competitive applicant than i think i am and all this worrying will be for naught. well, i do need to worry, but i hope that i get 10-15 interviews. none of that "i'm canceling this one because i'm tired" nonsense. cross that bridge once i get there, i suppose.

well, today i'm going to be girly and look at suits. then i'm going to work on my application and obsess way too much over it. then i'll come home and drink a beer.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

off at 2:30 pm...

and something has to be screwy, right? today was just a really rare day i guess. tomorrow is full of craziness...vascular conference at 7 am, meeting with VIP at 2 pm, and then vascular journal club at fancy restaurant at 6 pm. aaak!

the last few days on the service have been tinged with some sadness...we've had a couple of deaths lately. some were expected, one in particular was not. the unexpected one, well, it was still expected, just not WHEN it happened i guess. the spouse was all sad and hugged me for a long time, which is fine, but i'm not used to touching patients in a non-medical kind of way. (i know, sounds weird, but you have to have boundaries somewhere or you just get emotionally overwhelmed, at least that's what i try to do.) that same day i was consoling the spouse, another patient cussed me out, but that's ok. i would have been angry too, but i don't think the patient was comprehending that i was there to help, so they cussed me out. but then they were nice to me once the info was finally understood. so when i got home, i had to cook up a storm because my brain was all over the place.

yesterday i got to sew up an incision that was REALLY REALLY CLOSE to the graft the team had just put in. and i didn't poke any holes in the graft, of course. i LOVE sewing! though i was definitely on high alert to not poke any holes. the resident was staring me down like a hawk, but it's all good. i didn't let him down.

so tonight i think i'll be going to the gym, baking some cupcakes, and reading my article for journal club tomorrow. oh yeah, and not freaking out about my meeting tomorrow. to be honest, i'm just happy to be seeing the sun shine for once...

Friday, August 13, 2010

still alive

working hard, still alive. long days. yesterday was great...had a level 1 and BAM fixed his problem. got some good lessons on suturing technique, tied some good knots. gotta work today and on call tomorrow. almost done with eras, but still working on letters.

alright, gotta go to work now.

Thursday, August 05, 2010


i'm really tired. vascular is kicking my ass. i am post call today, had to scrub in a case all night, zero sleep, but then my intern let me leave around 8:30 this morning so i came home and slept for 8 hours in a row, first time in a LONG time. my feet and knees and hips are so sore from standing, my back hurts from leaning over. lots of sick patients. BUT, i'm learning a lot and being able to practice my skills! and i've been getting some great feedback from an attending who's been watching me work, so it's worth it, ha.

my schedule this week has been:
  • wake up at 3:15 am
  • eat/make coffee/check email
  • leave apartment by 3:45-3:50
  • arrive at school at 4:00
  • make sure list is correct (people in correct rooms, etc)
  • get labs and vitals
  • assist intern in writing notes, etc
  • pre-rounds with upper levels at 6:00
  • 7:00 meetings (sometimes), sometimes 2nd breakfast
  • cases all freaking day long, sometimes clinic thrown in
  • randomly round with attendings at their leisure
  • people start shooting people or other stupid shit and then we scrub in and operate for a long time
  • more badness happens to unlucky people and operate some more
  • go home anywhere from 6:00 pm - 9:30 pm or later
  • eat dinner, hang out with H
  • realize you are too tired to read or work on ERAS or anything else
  • go to bed realizing that in less than 4 hours you have to wake up and do it all over again
so i was kind of thankful today to be post call. isn't that weird? alas...

tomorrow i think is clinic in the partner and i are going to be splitting up clinic so we can get face time with our department chairman. kind of nerve racking, if you ask me.

hopefully tomorrow's pre-rounds will go better. this morning was just awful because we were a resident short, late, and really tired because of the events of last night. it will be better tomorrow. it has to be, right? i know i wasn't at the top of my game, but at the same time i have to have some sleep, and i got zero. it's a good excuse in the normal world, but not in medicine i guess. that's the sucky thing about being a med student...most of the time, nothing you do is good enough and people are always telling you that you're not doing well. so i really do hang on to those rare occasions that i get a compliment. makes it all worth it to hear a surgeon attending tell you "you have good hands", and then lets you tie off arteries and sew and all that fun stuff.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

1 month down, 10 to go!

and i say i only have 11 months in M4 year because i graduate in may...

1 down, 10 more to go!

this year is going to FLY!

and i have to admit, i'm going to miss CT surg a little bit...i didn't get to see near as many general thoracic cases as i would have liked. i start vascular tomorrow morning, be there bright and early at 4:30 am or so...but hopefully it won't be a terribly long day because there's generally no cases on sundays.

last night H and i had a lot of fun...we went to a lake-side bar and had red stripes while chatting and staring at the ducks. then we went to a super authentic mexican place (where you order in spanish) and i got enchiladas verdes al pastor and H got a taco and a sincronizada. oh, and i also got horchata. yums! we thought we'd be the only non-hispanic folks in there, but then this white couple walks in and we always see them EVERYWHERE at the local ethnic's like, we WOULD see them at the restaurant! but the funny part was they started ordering in english and the waitress/cook had to go get someone else to accept the order. ordering in spanish is not hard, just state the name of the dish/drink and say a number, like UNO or something. or point to the menu. oh well. i was so full after the meal and my earlier beer. we were supposed to meet up with some of my friends for late night drinks, but i fell asleep at 9:00 and didn't really wake up until 10:30, and at that point we didn't want to drive out there. i can't wait until i get some of my life back so i can see my friends when i want, but sleep is more important right now. plus they were all on EASY stuff so they can hang out whenever they want. sacrifices, ha, i suppose.

so vascular starts tomorrow super early, my life will be nonexistent in august, so no haters if i don't post too often.

here's to hoping today is fun...breakfast, gym, grocery, coffee shop, dinner with people...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

no fun.

i'm leaving today to take my step 2 cs in houston. not happy about it. have i studied? not really, but i will on the drive down there today. i do believe i'll pass, just got to make sure i don't screw up by getting nervous or whatever. and i'm mad that i don't get my score supposedly until OCTOBER. so i guess i'll just automatically release my usmle transcripts on eras. which, speaking of, i haven't worked on in a while. next week i need to ask two people if they would be willing to write me rec letters, which is nerve racking in itself.

the good thing about the trip is that i'll catch up with a good friend that i haven't been able to talk to in a while. she's studying to be a genetic counselor, which is super awesome. maybe i can talk her into going to a korean restaurant...hahaha, doubt it.

ct surg is going well. i got to cut out some rib the other day!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

golden weekend

today has been absolutely lovely...slept in till 7, ha. H and i saw my mom run in a race today, then ate some breakfast/lunch, then went to a local mall and i SHOPPED, then we cooked a lovely steak and ate it. now i'm laying on the couch. i love golden weekends! and my shopping trip was AWESOME. incredible deals, cute stuff, happiness! i also got a little black dress, don't know when i'll wear it, but i have it and it's cute. woo!

i'm debating another nap...hee hee.

i'm on call monday and have a massage scheduled for tuesday during my post call afternoon. can't wait! it will be oh-so-good and worth it.

pre-ordered my first real surgery textbook! i decided on greenfield's, and then saw that the 2010 edition comes out in september, so rather than get the 4th edition (from 2005), i thought i'd wait. i can read the book online from my library or see a copy in the surgery lounge, so no big deal. i'm excited!

so i really hope i get to put in a chest tube this month. i would absolutely squeal on myself!

ok, so now i'm going to nap or watch tv or something. hee hee...i love golden weekends!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

now i can breathe more easily...

step 2 ck score came back this wednesday! and i did WELL! I DID GREAT! I AM THRILLED TO PIECES! when my assoc. dean told me what my score was, i thought he was lying. i didn't believe him. haha, i guess hard work does pay off. and what's weird is that i had a dream of what i was going to make months ago, and i was 1 point off of what i dreamed! PREMONITIONS! hopefully this will help me out with the ol' residency application certainly is inspiring to say the least!

in other news, things are going well in the CT front...i finally got over my virus, yay. i've been scrubbing into tons of cool cases, there's been a string of tetrology of fallot repairs! this morning i scrubbed into a peds ct case where there was definitive surgical repair of the TOF, pretty awesome. and i got to be first assist for a couple minutes (waiting for the other attending to scrub in and help) and got to help put in the arterial and venous cannulae for the cardiac bypass machine! the attending was like "you're getting to do things that a lot of residents have never done", and he even threw in a "you're doing a great job", and i was like OMG YEAH. though on the surface i was calm, cool, collected. inside i was squealing like a little girl. i got to use FORCEPS and hold the AORTA and the RIGHT ATRIUM and SUPERIOR VENA CAVA. i mean, that's super totally badass! well, i think so at least...ha.

and then i found out i get the weekend off. i'm really excited about that. i've worked every day straight since last tuesday. normally it wouldn't be so bad, but my day is normally between 12-14 hours long, and plus i was on call too, so i was at the hospital for 30 hours straight there. ok, so on saturday i was done at 11:00 in the morning, so technically i had an afternoon off...ha. i'm happy to work, but i gotta have some time to myself too. and this weekend i think some fun stuff will happen and i'm looking forward to hanging out with H and relaxing.

alright, going to read an article or two and then head to bed...yay!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

i'm tired

ct surg is fun, but i'm tired. and i'm sick. sick + tired = not ideal situation. but it's ok. i'm learning a lot, and i am finding that i enjoy reading surgical texts, which i think is a good thing because i want to do surgery? i've been learning about cardiac bypass, which gets easier to understand the more i read about it. i've made copies of other chapters in this CT book, and will read those later today. care of post-op patients and ACLS. important stuff. i'm also thinking about purchasing a general surgery text, but i might change my mind after i see how expensive they are...ha. i can just make a ton of copies at school.

i've gotten to see some great surgeries...tetrology of fallot repair, 2 CABGs, and a nuss bar removal. hopefully i'll get to see a thymectomy and some pulmonary lobectomies before it's all said and done. i'm getting more comfortable in the ICU setting, which was one of my main goals of M4 year. not that you can ever be comfy in the ICU, but at least confident enough in managing patients and understand pressors and dialysis and all that kind of stuff.

i've also had some good instruction on technique, for which i'm grateful. practice makes perfect!

so i worked on my eras some, and now i should read. my brain is too fogged up right now to think about editing my personal statement.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

being an M4 is awesome

and you want to know why? BECAUSE YOU GET TO DO EVERYTHING AND GET FIRST DIBS. i like it. and you get to teach the M3 and M2 students on. and gently explain to the M2 who is used to being the only student that M4s get priority on doing certain things. and to not try to suture when my fingers are about 1 inch away from where he is going to suture. and no playing with the instruments. haha. but he's so eager, and i don't want to kill his excitement. i'll let M3 year kill his soul slowly...

so far i've gotten to scrub a tetrology of fallot repair and a CABGx5. long surgeries, but really satisfying to watch. i've already done a call night, got about 1 hour of sleep, but it was really good anyway. drunk people falling off boats, old people on blood thinners falling, car wrecks, successful suicide attempt, knife stab wound from angry girlfriend, and plenty of floor work. i learned how to change lines and sew them in, how painful (but necessary) it is to evacuate a hematoma and put on a wound vac at bedside, and that i need to brush up on my suturing. but i plan on buying some bananas and pigs feet and going to town. and practice my one-hand ties.

i'm off until resident is awesome. i plan on doing some baking tomorrow and bringing it up...all part of the plan. ha! no, honestly i just like to do a good job and keep my residents happy. next week the other M4 begins, and so i really just feel like i need to stay on my game to shine. so far has been good though. i already had a conversation with my resident along the lines of "please tell me what i need to do to improve, etc, because i want to get the most out of this and learn how to become a good intern"...highly recommend everyone have that conversation when you start out a new rotation because it lets them know that you are for real.

today i started up my ERAS application, and my other goal is to do my freakin' personal statement! my dean's letter meeting is tuesday so i have to hustle...

so yeah, i'm excited for the BEST YEAR EVER!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


so we got back from our honduran was so awesome! flew into san pedro sula, taxied to tela, spent 4 days on the beach, ferried to utila, got stuck in the middle of tropical storm alex, and then catamaran'ed over to roatan, relaxed, and came home. saw beautiful beaches, snorkeled, hiked through national park, man, it was so awesome. i'm so glad to have been able to go with H and just have an adventure. the only annoying thing were the sand fleas! they bite you and it ITCHES so bad! i must have had nearly 100 bites! and they are still itching...oh well, can't have everything!

then reality hit...i paged my resident and i am to be ready for rounds at 6:45 am thursday! "just split the list however you like with your partner"...problem is, the "partner" won't be starting until next week. so i guess i'll just get there like super early and pick up 3-4? the resident is not quite sure how the service goes because she just started herself, plus there is a new intern starting as well. play it by the ears, i suppose. and then i haven't sutured, let alone TOUCH a patient, in MONTHS. alas...

and now i have to write my personal statement, work on my ERAS application, aaaak! and worry about my step 2 ck score! and study for step 2 cs! and impress the ct service! goodness gracious...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

it's all done!

as you may have noticed, i played around with the new design templates. all i can say is, TOO MANY CHOICES! haha...well, i hope you like this one, but who knows, i may change it again.

test was long. of course, the super fast classmate was done while i was in the middle of my 4th block. ha. i started a little before 9 and finished around 5:30. i took all of the hour for the block...i was able to finish with about 10 minutes left, but then i'd go back and think about my marked questions. questions were long, but expected. of course, there were a few that i was like WTF but you have to expect that. for the most part i felt prepared. i also felt like there was this vast amount of knowledge i know that wasn't tested upon, but that's part of the silly game as well. but it did seem like i had a large number of A) variations on a woman feels a breast lump, WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT, B) OMG I'M PREGNANT AND THIS IS GOING ON NOW, C) super nasty photos. examples? HUUUUGE nasty vulva, spread eagle. i was like, that's a sad vagina. huge diabetic foot ulcers, complete with drippies.

i had taken my aleve, so i didn't get the super pounding headache of step 1. i just had a minor headache instead. about 6 blocks in though, i had a case of the GET ME OUT OF HERE. i felt like i had good concentration, but then it definitely started to wane. alas.

and this year when i finished it was like "thank God, now i can get OUTTA HERE!" and then i got in my car, turned on NPR and just drove. i was in a "meh" state of mind. well, not totally "meh", i was really looking forward to getting to eat some damn fine food! compare it to last year, when i left the test i got in my car and just started crying. why was i crying? probably a combo of the monster headache, sheer exhaustion, and that "oh crap" feeling. so i think my immediate post-test emotions means that i probably did better this year? let's hope so.

last night H took me out to a lovely restaurant in town where we had delicious food and i ordered a drink that was probably a bit too strong for a half-asian gal not accustomed to heavy drinking. the pasta i had was delicious, and i was looking forward to eating it again today, but both of our parents are demanding that they see us "before we go on our trip" for both lunch and dinner, so it looks like i can't eat my leftovers. but K will enjoy them...ha. she is house-sitting for me so my plants don't die. but a few of them are actively dying, but whatever. it's beside the point.

so now i'm trying to not be overwhelmed at the amount of packing i need to do today, since i have done ZERO, and now i have all these things that i wasn't planning on doing that i have to do today. i need to run by the bank. i need to get a small notebook of sorts so i can start jotting down ideas for my personal statement. laundry? i should workout too, since i haven't in a while. we'll only be gone a week, and i love to wear the same thing every day, so i'm not too concerned about that. it's all the other crap. and i'm just going to take my backpack, no check-ins. so that means pack smartly, which my brain is not capable of being smart today.

i get my score back supposedly in 4-6 weeks. i hope i did goal is to have made a substantial improvement on my step 1 score. oh yeah, my meeting with surgery VIP went well. i'm so excited to get back to work and work hard and learn a lot.

so, until next time! good luck to all my friends that have yet to take step'll do great. the experience for me was SO much better than last year, i'm sure it will be for you too.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

it's tomorrow

my step 2 ck is tomorrow. i've been trying my hardest to not freak out about it. at least at this point i know i should pass. i feel more prepared this time than for step 1, i think i do at least.

i'm just going to spend today reading over some of my rougher areas, namely renal, rheum, and heme. i think i know enough of endocrine to not embarrass myself. oh, and going over the "top 100 secrets" in my secrets book. and also getting bread as to make a pb and j sammich tomorrow for lunch. i'm going to bring a cooler to put in my car so everything tastes good.

i also have a meeting today with a VIP in the surg department. (i know, why meet day before step? because my brain is useless anyways...) i hope it goes well. i plan it to be a "hello, this is me and my story" type of meeting. i'm sure it will be fine...i tend to thrive off of those unpredictable situations.

i was hoping that south korea wouldn't have lost 4-1 this morning, but oh well.

so now i should do some ironing so i can look business-y this morning.

please forgive me if i don't update for over a week or so...i'm going to try and post about my thoughts about the test, but honestly, i'm not going to promise anything. friday night should be spent in a coma, saturday will be frenzied packing, and sunday is honduras! then when i get back we can talk about that and PERSONAL STATEMENTS. boo that. ha!

good luck everyone else taking the step!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

nothing new here...

just studying for step 2. it's on friday, june 18. yes, i'm freaking. yes, i hate USMLE world. (but only have 325 questions left!) yes, i've been having the study munchies for food that is not found in my area of living. yes, that makes me feel pissy.

so what do i do about it all? well, yesterday i cut my hair...about 5 inches, GONE! i love my hair guy...just tell him 1) i need to still put it in a ponytail, 2) i don't do blow dryers or "product", 3) you know it's going to be MONTHS before i come back because i'm lazy about my hair, and 4) NO BANGS. and now i have fabulous sassy hair. and no split ends. hooray!

today i have study date planned with my fun study friends...haha. basically we all sit around in silence, then bitch out loud, and then do questions, and every once in a while you here someone curse, or shake their arms in frustration, or pound the table loudly. all in a day.

currently awaiting the EMAIL that will say "frylime has done the awesomest on her surgery board! she made a ONE MILLION!!!" ok, maybe not a one million but hopefully about 70 (national average raw score) and maybe hopefully above class average? since this is what frylime wants to do with her life?

now i gotta run to school and get my malarial drug prescription (for HONDURAS!!!). hopefully i won't get mefloquine. that stuff messes you UP.

study hard, friends!

Friday, June 04, 2010

done with BOARDS! what does that mean?!


finished up with my surgery board today...rough test. and i know i made stupid errors on it. i was feeling a lot of pressure on it to do well, and my brain was tired, and i had to pee really bad during the test but i do not get up to pee during tests, alas. hopefully i did better than i thought i far my board scores are coming back nicely. i'm quite pleased, and i'm crossing my fingers that it means i will eventally do well on the step 2 ck!

as for now, i am laying on my couch being a bum. i like it. i was going to give blood with K, but we tuckered out after lunch and i usually give platelets which means something bad will happen, like me puking on myself or something like that. i think i deserve to be a bum today!

Wednesday, June 02, 2010


that is how my brain feels at the moment. got peds board tomorow, surg board friday. and then step 2 ck in 2 weeks. blah. but then there's a week long trip to HONDURAS!

through my intuition i think i passed my fake step 2 cs exam, and i'm going to go over monday to review my results. probably going to say "she is a weird person who stares at the floor too much". who knows. and sometimes when i'm nervous my redneck accent tends to come out in full force. or trying to talk loudly to an old person. or whatever.

i'm about to go to the gym and work off some of this energy. i would just walk around a park outside, but i spy some angry clouds and methinks it wouldn't be prudent to stroll around during a thunderstorm. but i'm not wearing a white t-shirt so i would be ok.

i love how at my regular coffee shop that i'm considered a "regular" and i get freebies from time to time. makes my stomach happy.

this weekend should be fun...H and i are going to volunteer at this hispanic health fair on saturday, then celebrate his birthday belatedly with his family. sunday is a cookout with poolside activities. and of course, there will be something going on friday post-boards. i do want to take another practice test soon...maybe i can do that sunday morning. i'm excited about my world 33% left. of course it's all freaking internal medicine questions, but whatever. the end is near!

ok, treadmill time. then for dinner it's lamb shoulder chops, zucchini, rice, and kimchee. and a beer. and more questions. trey excited.

Monday, May 24, 2010


man, i don't like sitting still in one spot reading/doing questions/etc...reminds me of what hell is probably like. i will say, studying for step 2 is much more enjoyable than step 1 at any rate. i took a practice test last night and it was a huge confidence booster. definitely not to the point of becoming overconfident, but a boost to tell me YOU CAN DO IT!

i'm currently brining some turkey legs. will make a spice rub to go on top and then braise them in the oven for a while. excited about dinner!

i can't believe that 2 weeks from now, i'll officially be an M4!!! there were definitely moments in my med school career that i thought it wasn't going to happen, but it most certainly has happened. and is still going on. yay!

so on to more questions...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

no more M3 clinicals!

today was a great day! no more M3 clinicals!!!

also, my crazy rash is more crazy today, so went by student health to get a decadron shot in the butt. the NP, after giving me my shot, accidentally stuck herself so i had to get my blood drawn for infectious diseases. she kept apologizing, but i was like, no, it's cool, i'm a super hypochondriac so it's good that i get tested! i'm clean anyway, and the NP was happy that it was someone like me to get stuck from, rather than someone else. the verdict?


the world is good today. haha!

tomorrow is my psych board...hopefully i'll do well. i'm glad that it's over...psych is so interesting, and the attending like EVERYDAY said "you should be a psychiatrist", but, i just want to move on to SURGERY!!! today we almost did an LP, but unfortunately the attending wanted IR to do it. boo! i wanted to do the LP!!!

still applying to away rotations...i've been denied to 2 places so far, but that's ok. these things fill up rather quickly. i'll throw a few more apps out and then call it a day. no big deal. if i don't get an away, i'll do path or rads.

alright, back to studying! yay! or not...haha. no AIDS!

Monday, May 17, 2010

last week

my face is itchy. terribly itchy. maybe i rubbed some plant juice on it, i don't know. it's really annoying. and i have a rash. i just took a loratidine and been rubbing some diphenhydramine on top. alas. i hope i don't have kawasaki's or something.

i'm drinking a strawberry abita beer. delicious.

one month from tomorrow i take my step 2 ck. scary.

i made some delicious noodles for dinner. they were quite satisfying.

i have my psych board friday. i've been doing some reading, about to do more questions. just wanted to update my internet friends...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

6 more days!

tomorrow is my CSA's to hoping i don't piss off any fake patients or *gasp* forget to DRAPE or listen UNDER the gown! i still can't believe i miss that every so often!

my catatonic patient had ECT done today and BAM S/HE IS A NEW PERSON! it is so amazing at how get better after a treatment! going from not talking very much and freaking out about the voices in your head to smiling and giddy and talking up a storm! and no more voices! wow. i'm so glad i got to see the results.

today i went to this annual "distinguished" lecture done by the surgery department at was really cool to hear it. it was an historical talk done about a pioneering surgeon from way back who paved the way for valvulotomies.. but so cool. it made me excited to get back to doing surgery again! july 1, here i come!

afterwards i went to the gym and watched the show "say yes to the dress" while i treadmilled. that show, man, it's so weird, but i can't help but watch it...just a bunch of women buying wedding dresses. "my budget is $9,000", man, that freaks me out every time. i can't imagine spending that much money on a dress to wear once. YES, the wedding dress has to be special, blah blah blah, but 9 grand? i would wear something from the gap over that and spend the rest on vacation. ha.

then i came home and have some beef brisket braising in the oven. i heart my dutch oven! EVERYONE MUST HAVE ONE. i hope it comes out deliciously...first time to ever tackle brisket. i just seasoned both sides vigorously with a bazillion spices, browned both sides, then sauteed some onion and garlic in the same pot, deglazed with some sherry, and then put the meat back in and popped it in the oven. low and slow supposedly is the way to do it, so i'm thinking an hour and a half will suffice. (it's only around 1.5 pounds.) but i'll probably do two anyway.

so i was thinking about some random advice for M1s and M2s that have to do clinical stuff. you know, like "shadow" people or do that ICM stuff where you interview a patient and it's horrible and nerve racking. trust me, this advice will help you out in a good way so that nobody (like us M3s, ha) makes fun of you. and yes, these are all inspired by true stories:
  • if you are dressing up and wearing your white coat, LADIES, please DO NOT WEAR HOOKER HEELS WITH HOOKER DRESSES/SKIRTS. omg. the other day i saw this girl wearing 3 inch stilettos that were blue suede appearing and strappy and open-toed. (they were cute, actually.) and she was wearing a cute dress, but it was short. and she was awkwardly walking with her obviously heavy appearing bookbag on. that outfit screams "hit on me please". plus 3 inch stilettos are no fun in standing around in and walking miles in the hospital. that outfit just broadcasted "i obviously don't know what i'm doing and would love to be hit on by nasty people." the mark of a med student in the clinical years: cute FLATS. or slight heels. and definitely no open-toe...if you were to drop a needle and stick your foot, well, that's your problem.
  • ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS! a poor student (who was terrified) came up to me after interviewing and examining a patient with questionable HIV status (test not back yet) was like "OMG SHOULD I WASH MY HANDS? WAS I SUPPOSED TO?" i just stared at him and was like "umm, yeah?" just wash them. or use the foamy stuff. and wear gloves if you don't know for sure someone is not going to give you scabies. or something like that. i almost wanted to ask "do you wash after you wipe your dookie off your booty hole?" but i didn't.
  • if you come in to observe a surgery, and you've obviously done gross anatomy, and the surgery is called "cholecystectomy", and you see the surgeons fumbling around a GREEN BAG SHAPED OBJECT, and the resident is explaining that someone is holding the fundus while they dissect out the cystic duct (obviously saying gall bladdery things), please don't go "IS THAT THE GALL BLADDER?" omg, you've been through GROSS, the damn thing is GREEN and YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. there was definitely a collective eye roll at that question. alas.
just trying to help you guys out, ha. as for me, it's shower time and then cs cram time. and then food!

Monday, May 10, 2010

2 weeks left of clinicals!

how exciting!

today was a great some major work done on the ward today. my super depressed patient (who is so depressed that s/he cannot even muster up enough will to even POOP at times) did what i said! i said "you have 2 goals today. number 1, get out of bed and watch tv in the day room. number 2, GO TO THE BATHROOM AND POO." not everyday you can tell someone that. and s/he did just so! and i made the patient laugh today! multiple times! super awesome. i really think this patient can be turned around, but it's going to be a long hard road. you just don't recover fast from things like depression, but i believe it can be done.

just an aside, we have a ton of borderline personality disorder patients on the ward. like a TON of them. and they've all made friends with each other. and they all bitch about the food. alas. it's tough to see people struggling with addiction. they delude themselves. they create havoc for their families. lie to everybody. just tough. i'm taking care of a patient in her mid-20s, and it's tough for me. i think, "man, what if i was the one on drugs? what if those times in my life where i had a bad day i had reached for some crack versus go talk it out with a friend?" i just can't help but think about her future should she choose to keep going down this road. i have an uncle that has a meth abuse problem, but i do believe he's in jail now for a long time due to being caught actually making meth. the shake and bake, i think. it would be nice to know that there's hope for his future, but honestly, i haven't seen the man since i was in junior high or so. i wouldn't recognize him now, especially since meth really changes the way you look in a bad way.

ok, back to happier topics!

i had a good weekend too...hung out with H's family and then turned around and hung out with my family. my mom made kimbap, a sort of korean sushi. it was SO GOOD. omg. she makes it like once or twice a year, and i'm so glad to have eaten a ton of it yesterday. and then leftovers today! yay! so for dinner tonight, kimbap leftovers, a lovely salad (with green leaf lettuce, celery, tomato, and strawberry...a HUGE fan of adding fruit to salads), and cheese and crackers! for dessert, a mango blueberry smoothie!

this wednesday i'm on call. friday is my school's mock step 2 cs exam. it will last all day, blah. i hate those things. but i'm more afraid to fail the real thing. it's over $1,000 to take it. alas. and then...MY BIRTHDAY IS ON SUNDAY!!! i will be turning the big 2-5...and I CAN'T WAIT! i LOVE getting older, and this number, 25, is so awesome because it's five squared! a quarter century! i love cool numbers...25 definitely fits the bill.

ok, with all that nerdiness, i think it might be time for me to head to bed. chao peoples!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

frustrations, i suppose

so why is it that a lot of the psych people are trying to convince me to do psych?

today i was attempting to talk to my catatonic patient (who DOES talk to me, but not to most other people, and especially not in public) in front of a bazillion people, the attending says "sometimes we get tattoos for the M3s that say 'psychiatrist' and put them on their faces". i looked at him like "wtf" and he goes "yeah, you should really consider being a psychiatrist!". and i'm like, damn. then i wigged out via text to K who then consulted other friends sitting around the lunch table and they all decided that i need to do surgery, not psych. psych is enjoyable, but so was ob/gyn, so was half of medicine, and maybe some of fam med? if i wasn't going to do surgery, i'd do psych. yes, i like it a lot, BUT, there are some BIG THINGS that are keeping it from being #1. surgery is still way ahead. it's not like an instance where i feel a coin flip is in order. because if it really were like that, 50/50, i'd apply to both residencies and just see what happens. but it's not. and that's that. plus i hate memorizing drugs. too many drugs in psych. WAY too many. and i really don't like the whole "let's throw different meds at you until you're happy/not seeing visions/not trying to kill people" sort of way to fix people. give me a knife, a needle, and some thread. and suction, please. i need to stop thinking about "lifestyle" because WHO KNOWS HOW IT WILL BE UNTIL IT IS.

i might have some wonderful friends come stay with me this weekend. i'm hoping that they decide to come for sure. it would be a nice thing.

i'm excited about dinner tonight...H and i are planning to make some lamb shoulder chops, broccoli, and polenta. SUPER excited!

ok, about to do some world questions. i can't wait to stop sucking at them.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

lovely saturday

ridiculously long post ahead, hahaha!

nice thing about psych...weekends off! this morning i ate a bagel, had some coffee, swept my balcony, took photos of my lovely plants, did some world questions. world, you are the bane of my existence!!! but my plants look lovely! my strawberry plant has a flower on it, my salvia is exploding with blooms, and i think i have tiny limes growing on my lime tree. i repotted my pumpkin plants and hopefully i can train them to go up the railing on the balcony. that would be awesome to have a PUMPKIN this fall! it's raining off and on this morning as well. H is back from his work trip, and i'm happy for that too!

right now i'm watching the "i can't believe i was pregnant" show on discovery. that show is so crazy...i would think a lot of these women are in extreme denial. and how is it that these babies are all born "healthy"? even with the mamas smoking and drinking, etc. alas.

i went and hung out in the cardiothoracic surg clinic this week, and i was totally reminded of why i want to do surgery! saw some cool patients, wished that i could see their surgeries. the ct guys are excited that i'm coming to do a month with them in july. i think i might be the only student to sign up for a ct month? maybe i'm a masochist...haha. it's just that problems within the chest are SO COOL.

psych is still fun, but i experienced some frustrations at the tail end of this week. i realized that i am a "quick fix" kind of gal...long and steady are NOT what i like. you come in with depression, and we give you medicines. you feel better. and better. we get excited! then BAM, you have the major sads again for no reason. for me, this is so aggravating. but for others, it's just part of the treatment process. they don't mind the long and steady. and i just want to bang my head against the wall. other issues, like delusions and whatnot, super cool. but, none of those diseases are easily fixed in the short term. i guess sedation would work, but that's kind of wrong, ha!

M4 schedules are STILL not finalized, but i think mine should come out ok. i'm just lacking one course on my schedule. still haven't heard from away rotations, but those take a while, supposedly. it's going to be balls to the wall, to put it crassly, for the first 4 months of my M4 year. aak! once my schedule is perfected i'll post it here.

also, i got this comment on one of my recent blogs (hi kris! thanks for stopping by!) and thought i would put my thoughts down about it:

Other than surgery being hands on were there any other contributing factors ?
well, i liked being able to see people's INSIDES! to me, being in the OR is so much fun...there's a ton of teamwork involved with doing surgery. and i'm a visual person, and i like seeing how people are put together. and this may sound weird or whatever, but i really appreciate how when the patient is draped and prepped, you can only see what you're working on. people may claim they don't judge or whatever, but we all do it to some extent. i appreciate how in surgery, you just expose what you're working on and get to work. sometimes tunnel vision is a good thing, ha. i found myself getting too emotionally involved during family medicine, etc, and getting upset when patients would flat out lie to my face. i don't like that very much. i don't know if that makes sense to you, but it does to me.

I know that surgery is a challenging specialty - not to say that the other residencies are not - and I know that there's the notion that this is a male-dominated area of medicine. How true is this ? Is close to everyone a gunner ??

i know it's still pretty male-dominated, but i think there are a lot of females coming into the field too. that's not really a concern for me though, i've always done more "boy" things...playing drums in high school, engineering in college, etc. and gunners are in ANY learn how to spot them in college...haha. and then you see more in med school. i enjoyed my surgery rotation a lot...didn't experience too many ill personalities, but then again, there are weirdos in EVERY field. you can't escape them.

I'm still a senior high school so I have a LONG way to go before med school but I'm still interested in hearing about your ambitions.
keep up the good work! and you may surprise yourself with what you like to do. if truly interested in medicine, PLEASE shadow as many different doctors as possible. medicine is definitely not something you should do on a lark...and you can always come to medicine later in life. there is no rule that says you must go straight into medicine after college. so for now, just do a lot of shadowing, work in a hospital, or just volunteer, and do your best in school!

hope this post wasn't too boring...if anyone else out there has questions, i'm super happy to help! and now H is on his way for us to go get some delicious pizza and then workout afterwards...woo!

Monday, April 26, 2010

mini crisis

not a real crisis, per say, but a lot of thoughts in my head that are semi-racing and irritating me?

i've had a decent day, tried to work on my research from a long time ago and failed miserably at remembering how to work stupid statistics programs, but had a decent day by the end of it. i went to the gym after school, cleaned my kitchen, and made some dinner: leftover cold steak pieces (because i needed protein and was too lazy to reheat it), open-faced wheat bagel with cream cheese, basil, tomato slice and some onion, and 1/4 avocado. it was quite delicious. i feel good now. but i do need to step study. aaak.

maybe if i spell out all my troubles i will feel better? and since this is my blog i can do whatever i want. and H is away on a work trip so i have nobody to talk to.
  • MONEY. money money money. not "omg i'm going to have tons of debt", but more like "oh $*%& my next loans don't come in until july 7 and clearly my bank account is running dry like NOW". luckily i have things called "mutual fund of emergency money" and "parents". not a huge deal, but just annoying because i try my hardest to be self-sufficient...that little ego of mine is bigger than i'd like it to be.
  • health insurance. i turn 25 next month, and from my understanding, the "health insurance until your 26" thing doesn't go into effect until OCTOBER. well, that doesn't help me. so i have to figure out how to get my health insurance from school. it's not going to be too difficult, but just annoying.
  • specialty choice. now don't get me wrong...i LOVE surgery!!! love it! i can't wait to get back into the OR. SEE SOMEONE'S INSIDES AGAIN. HOLD THE COLON. you catch my drift. but now on psych, i really like it. there's something so interesting talking to someone who is telling you about their visions and what the voices in their head are telling them like it's talking about the weather, or what's for dinner tonight. it's comparing apples to oranges, really. they are so different you can't compare them too well, but i would be lying if i didn't think about things like "i could deal with not doing what i 99.9% enjoy for something with a more defined lifestyle". but honestly, how will i know what ANY lifestyle for me is going to be like? i can't tell the future! i've always managed to find a way that suits me best, so why wouldn't i be able to find the best surgeon job for me? and plus, people who ramble start pissing me off after a while (even though i ramble...haha), and a lot of psych problems involve rambling. and i still HATE clinic. at least in surgery people are silent when it counts...haha. and i'm hands on. psych is most definitely hands off.
  • step 2. enough said.
ok, i think i've complained enough. hope i didn't bore you. OH, and another reason why i probably can't be a psychiatrist...i am so hypochondriac-y and paranoid about everything...i think it would only make me worse! ok, going to attempt some studying now...bye!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

psych is fun!

i've really been enjoying myself this rotation. i like how you don't have to touch patients. i like how everyone is crazy in an interesting way (or it wouldn't be psych, right?! ha!) and how you have to get buzzed in through two sets of double doors to go in. it's interesting for me to think about who these people are, what they did in their former lives before getting diagnoses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder or drug addiction. inpatient psych is super cool. i could never do psych though, at least not now, because of all the OUTpatient stuff...outpatient clinics just drive me to tears. i get so bored. so i'm thinking, i'm still going to do surgery, but maybe once my technical dexterity goes away or something, i can do another residency in psych and have brain fun for the rest of my career.

my little container garden is doing well so far! i'm quite excited about the possibilities for this summer...hopefully our lime tree will make us a lime or two. i have some little pumpkin plants growing...i hope they can do some magical things as well.

i've been re-inspired to post things on the food blog H and i have. we'll see if i can stick to it, ha. but i should post some things on there...we've been watching the food revolution on hulu and it's really interesting.

and step 2 studying is at a standstill. i seem to do badly on my practice questions no matter what, but i guess slow and steady wins the race, right? also, schedules still are not back yet, and i'm getting antsy to know how about my surgery months will be scheduled. plus i'm planning an away rotation for october and i want to know if that's going to be possible. i've applied to 3 different schools right now, planning on applying to one more. oh yeah, and another one as well. i've been told to not hold my breath on finding out if i've gotten any right now...usually we get notification in june or july or something like that.

as for now, i should get back to studying. and thinking about dinner. and thinking about an outdoor activity, as i have not exercised today. but, i can always go tomorrow, and i went yesterday and had an awesome workout. it's alright to take a day off, right? haha...alas.

Monday, April 12, 2010

first day on psych

and i was leaving for home at 2:00. today was the best day ever! hahaha, j/k. tomorrow i don't have to show up until 8:30. hopefully i'll get to stay on that particular service, rumor has it the attending T and i were assigned to quit. alas.

it's such a beautiful day outside. H and i were considering biking, but we might go play some frisbee too. is it possible to have M3-itis? because i totally have it now.

we got to tour the psych wards today, and for some reason it just wasn't as i had pictured it. a lot more sterile and brighter than i imagined? it's kind of quaint actually. they have their own laundry rooms and everything!

ok, time for some step 2 studying...but maybe i'll clean out my car first. i should load my bike up just in case we go out and about...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

golden weekend of sorts

family medicine DONE, psychiatry begins tomorrow. looking forward to it...can't wait for the stories!

also, i hate fake patient encounters...but at the same time, they are helpful in a weird way. but still hate them. especially when the patient is going very slowly or purposely hiding info from you. oh well. and this far into the game i still forgot to drape a patient and listening "under" the gown. blah.

this weekend has been great! friday night went out with some friends to a fancy bar in town. had a pear martini, and it was delicious! makes me want to learn how to make it on my own. mixology classes, anyone? then saturday my school hosted a crawfish boil and i had my annual helping of crawfish...yum. there were also bouncy castles and we bounced and flipped much fun! and we also had a battle thing but i lost pretty easily when my opponent squared me in the head. (i was trying to go for her knees but she played dirty...ha.) then we had a potluck sort of dinner/game night. i made curried butternut squash soup and it was pretty good for being completely on the fly. in retrospect i would have liked to have pureed it a bit more to make it more smooth, simmer a bit longer to thicken the soup just a tad, and add coconut milk! i had used cream, which is lovely too, but coconut milk would have sent it over the edge. i thought i had the spices just right...sometimes i forget that when i cook for other people, they might not appreciate spiciness like me and H do, but everyone told me (at least to my face, ha!) that it wasn't overdone and 2 people with sinus issues loved how it cleared them out. oooh, and if i was doing it for real, i would have crushed some peanuts and chopped cilantro or parsley for garnish.

today so far has been relaxing, late breakfast (bordering on the lunch variety), and some cleaning of the bathrooms. also, emptied a whole bunch of expired containers out of the fridge. it feels good to unclog the fridge. for the rest of the day i think will be spent relaxing, STUDYING FOR STEP 2 OMG, and some spot cleaning here and there. and staring at my plants...i can just stare at the for hours...i love coming home in the afternoon and seeing how much they have grown or turned to face the sun or whatever. LOVE IT! i can't WAIT to have my own garden with REAL fruits and veggies!

alright shower time so i can get on with the day...woo!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


sorry for the lack of blogging. i've been so utterly bored at school, and then i come home and have to do grunt work or just a ton of socializing. life is hard.

time for a rant about stupid people.

when you have bad diabetes, and are currently on ONE ORAL MEDICATION that is NOT even on its FULL STRENGTH, and you've been checking your blood sugars at home and "notice" that it's OVER 300 for the past few days, and oh by the way your abdomen hurts and you feel pukey, OMG GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW!!! then you end up in the ER in DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) with sugars over 700-800 or so. and try to pay attention when the diabetes educator teaches you about how to use insulin (because you WILL be on insulin now, gotta love those shots) and what foods NOT to eat. don't call your cousin to bring you donuts because you don't like hospital food. and when your medical student asks you how you've been tolerating your diet, while she appreciates that you told her she "hates the hospital food" so you had VANILLA ICE CREAM and SWEET TEA instead, OMG ARE YOU STUPID? you are IN THE HOSPITAL because you could not control your blood sugar, but then you decide to keep eating sugar while IN THE HOSPITAL because you don't like the bland food? even after you've been told that if you keep eating sugary food, you'll get an infection in your feet and might have to get them cut off? (more or less!) gotta love that ice cream, it made your sugar blast back up over 400 after the team had gotten it down into the low 200s.

ok, end that rant. this is why family medicine is not for me, sadly.

luckily, my other patient is a sweet sweet lady...her main issue is that she is super morbidly obese...over 500 pounds, pushing 600, and that is causing her some issues with her medical management. i'm sad that tomorrow is my last day to visit with her. such a nice lady, i hope she gets better soon and gets some gastric bypass or something in the future...

so now i'm busy doing stupid busy work for family medicine...all our stuff is due friday and i'm in the midst of procrastinating and doing a terrific job at that. have to finish inputting my patient log, write my H&P, and study for our test...HA. study. what a nice word. i need to get back on the step 2 studying, but i guess that will wait until this weekend.

monday i start psych. woo! that means study time!

Friday, March 26, 2010

2 months left!!!

i can now say 2 months left in rotation time for M3 year! woo!

i finished up my fam med in my just have 2 weeks left, and 1 of those weeks is at the hospital i used to work in the cath lab at. i'm just glad to not have to be driving so much anymore, and i have today mostly off because my preceptor took today off in his clinic. but he's still doing botox at 10 so i'll meet him up to do that. luckily the place is right down the road from me, so not to much driving needed.

i'm tired of being asked my opinion on health care. i really don't care at this point...all i'm focused on is 1) graduating and 2) getting into a residency without having to scramble. honestly. but if you really want to know, 1) yes, i agree that something needed to be done, 2) i would have rather seen reform happen slowly and gradually, and 3) had much more information given out during the debate/decision process. i understand what some of the "big things" are in the bill, but as far as truly understanding all the little things, eh, not so much. big fan of the "no pre-existing conditions can deny you insurance" or something like that. you never know what will happen to you as you age, so that's a comfort to know that you can get something to help your costs. but i'll just leave these thoughts as is...i'm just tired of being asked about it.

a doctor the other day was telling me i needed to drop out of med school because "YOU HAVE NO FUTURE IN MEDICINE"...i almost told him to eff himself and stay the eff out of my business, but i didn't. that's the thing, at my hometown experience, all the doctors i saw (except for 2!!!) were old white men, half of whom were fat...overweight fat, not obese i guess. the other 2 were a black man and a black lady. oh yeah, and 1 white lady. well, all the white men would get together in the mornings and talk shit about whatever in the world was ailing them...well, i don't think they were hurting too much in their fancy shoes and i saw what fancy cars they were driving up in. while watching fo.x news (which i can't stand and am permanently scarred for life for having to listen to it). well, after they'd leave, i'd go and change the channel to cn.n or something...ha! (i don't really care which news i had it on, just not fo.x!) one morning it was on ms.nbc, so i guess that was a pleasant surprise. but anywho, no offense against white men (my father is white! my boyfriend is white! i'm half white! hahaha...), but i guess i'm just tired of hearing rich old white men who haven't had to undergo any sort of prejudice or hardships bitching about how their worlds are going to end because obama is the president and now health care is CHANGING. ummm, as far as i know i woke up this morning and the world was still spinning, so that's that. and you are still going to make your money so you can fly your private plane to the beach every weekend. blah.

sorry about the just tumbled out of my fingers!

so for today i have some botox to go witness, some gymming, some studying, some school errands, and some hanging out with H to do! it's nice to be back in town again.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

a tiny ray of sunshine

today i got to fish out some damn ear wax out of a person's ear. the first hands on thing i've done in a few weeks. and i got excited. the excitement only lasted about 30 seconds.

what is wrong with me?

in other news, my Tdap vaccine booster i received yesterday is currently doing a number on me...i feel like i have the flu, my arm hurts (which was expected), but my whole body? and i keep feeling lightheaded and i can feel my heart pulsing throughout my if i sit really still i feel like my body is swaying with every heartbeat. or pulsing, rather. and i can see my arms MOVING without me moving them!

also, i want an effing fancy coffee drink and there is ONLY ONE COFFEE PLACE IN THIS TOWN that closes around i think i might take a shower and make my brother drive me there shortly.

i guess i'm being a whiny baby. why couldn't we have gotten a whole week off for spring break? that makes me sad. only 2 days, boo.

in other news, i've found some programs that i am going to apply for away rotations at...hopefully i'll get 1 so i can satisfy my urge of exploring new land.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

crossing my fingers

here's to hoping that i don't get the puking and shitting virus that's been spreading around my family med clinic the past few weeks...because i sure felt like doo doo today. after lunch i went out to my car, put the windows down, and straight up napped for 30 minutes. i'm such a loser.

so life is easy, been studying for step, and doing lots of driving back and forth. my preceptor also runs a botox clinic in my university med center town, and boy does he get excited about some botox! personally, the only cosmetic procedure i think i would be interested in is the laser hair removal, but it is interesting to watch the botox being done. i think botox is ok when it's done to "slow down" aging just a bit...the person still looks like a NORMAL person that can show emotions, they just aren't as wrinkly. however, the people who flip out because their forehead can still move and it's "not supposed to"? wtf. it just weirds me out. he also does smartlipo and juvederm fillers, so i'm hoping to get to see some of that while i'm there.

so here's my take on the kind of patients that i've been seeing:
  • problem lists consist of at least 95% of the following: diabetes, hypertension, GERD, hypothyroidism, CAD, PVD, atrial fib, COPD
  • at least 1/2 are obese
  • they all say "i hate taking medicines" and their medicine list is like freaking 30 pills long, and they want more
  • if they smoke, they don't smoke "too much". i mean, i only smoke like 1/4 of my cigarette at a time! i don't even smoke a whole pack!
  • everyone has sinusitis, so everyone gets antibiotics and flonase spray
here's some of the questions that i ask almost everyone:
  • what kind of numbers are you getting with your blood pressure?
  • what are your sugar numbers?
  • are you still taking all your medicines?
here's a fun conversation:

- so are you checking your sugars at home? your last A1c was 8.7...
- i am doing a great job...i check it about once a week! but i can always tell when my sugar is too high or too low!
- how do you know when it's too low?
- i get shaky and feel like i'm going to faint!
- and when it's high?
- oh, i just know when it's high.
- what happens?
- i just get a feeling.
- what is that?
- (silence).
- you can't normally tell when your sugars are too high, that's why you need to check them everyday to make sure that your medicine is working.
- well, the nurses just checked it and it was 160! that's the lowest it's been!
- 160 is not should be closer to 100.
- but 160 is the lowest it's been in a long time! i'm doing great, see?! i don't need no insulin!
- (smacks forehead).

or how about this:

- your blood pressure today is 160/100...are you taking all of your blood pressure medicines? (proceed to read off medicines.)
- i mean, i take them when i feel like it, but i didn't take them this morning, and oh, hey doc, my back hurts can i have some lortab?

oooh, what about this one?

- so i've been having these weird sensations in my arms and's not muscle tingling, it's sort of like a twitch but i've never seen them twitch. it's like a pull. yeah, a pull! but it twitches and it wakes me up from sleep and then i rub them and then it tingles...etc...etc...
- ummm...have you started exercising lately? any differences in sensation? you sure you've never seen twitching? changed your medicines lately? etc...etc...
- nothing's's got to be my heart! it has to be circulation, and then when i think really hard my heart is pounding and then i get shaky and then my head starts to hurt and then my neck has this bulge but it's been there forever and oh yeah i stopped my synthroid but that was back in 2009. could it be nerves? i think i have carpal tunnel and i've also been having diarrhea and i don't understand why dr. ___ took me off that medicine and changed it and i don't trust generics so don't give me one of those.
- ummm, why don't i get dr. ___ in here and see what we can do?

yeah, so i can't wait to just be a surgeon, or whatever i become...

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

family medicine

omg. private practice is the awesomest!

round in the hospital for an hour or so. clinic starts at 9. lunch is from 12-2. clinic ends no later than 5. oh yeah, and lunch is provided most days of the week. clinic is less than 5 minutes from my parents' house.


and the patients are CLEAN! BATHED! well, i would say the majority are, at least. ha. some of them try to lose weight! they take their medicines!

granted, i don't think i will be swayed to family med regardless because i'm too much into the procedures and whatnot, but maybe i'll be a private practice surgeon...oooh...

this month is going to be nice. plenty of time to study, access to a 24/7 gym, and a laid back daily schedule.

i've scheduled my step 2 cs finally...july 26. i was peeved that all the weekends were taken, but i guess a monday won't hurt me too badly in the long run.

still trying to decide on my M4 schedule, but i think i'll have it turned in by the end of this week. i hope so at least!

ok, now it's time for bed...gotta get the beauty sleep!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


so we had our surgery test yesterday, and let me tell you, it was just a whole lot of suck. but whatever. i saw an early glimpse of my grade to come, and it was just blah. so blah. thanks, self, for knowing how to bring my grade down! alas. so since then i've just been lounging...i've been restarting my knitting and got some really good gear to get me through the next few weeks. i've also started my usmle world question bank today. did 30 questions...and i have to say, they are much better than step 1 questions! i had a dream the other day that i had made a's to hoping that becomes a reality!

tomorrow i have a "discuss my future" meeting...i'm kind of scared, actually. what's the worst that can happen? they tell me i can't do what i want to do and i gotta think of something else. alas. such is life i guess. so here's to crossing my fingers...

watching the olympics...watching the folks crash or get disqualified or whatever, man, that just makes me so sad. because i know what it's like to fail at something...but at least i got some second chances, right?

friday is our senior planning day. which i am nervous about! but at least i know what i want to do, so that helps a little bit. so many people in my class don't know what they want to do, and it's contagious, the worry. well, can't think about all of them all the time, though i do since we're all friends! i just feel like it's so early to be thinking about NEXT YEAR, but really, it's not next year, M4 year starts july 1! aak! residency applications are due september 1! i heard the rank lists were due today for the M4s. we're all feeling the fun.

ok, i'm going to stop whining now and just do some knitting...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

what have i done this week?

this week in particular has been CRAZY! let's recap...shall we?
  • ex lap ex lap ex lap! (exploring inside someone's belly.)
  • attempted to do laparoscopic cholecystectomy on a morbidly obese patient, have to convert to open, and yours truly retracts the abdomen UP for a long time...tiring! patient is doing well though, yay!
  • saw someone's spleen get emergently cut out...those silly spleens do a lot of damage when they got a hole in them...
  • learned that too much tylenol = super bad liver failure
  • also learned that gauze directly applied to small intestines and allowed to harden is a bad bad thing...not something i did, but witnessed the aftermath...
  • had a pt yell at me because he didn't want to see a med student...then called local "hotshot" lawyer with ads on every street corner in town on us! attending chewed out pt for him being rude to me. it was awesome. will i go to court? the pt has no case. who knows! hahaha...crazy people
  • had a pt refer to his foley as his "pee pee cup". interesting. he crazy too.
  • oh yeah, and another pt stopped bleeding with flour. FLOUR. F. L. O. U. R. like from the kitchen. why not a bandaid? he said the flour worked better. did not ask if it was AP vs. self-rising...
it's been crazy, but fun too. had a resident tell me that i'm smart and i know my stuff, but i need to learn to not second guess myself. it was such a compliment, but also very good critique of what i need to work on...i know i second guess all the time. i really need to stop that because it's not going to help me out in the long run.

currently on call. may the call gods be nice far i've gotten to sew up a scalp laceration in the ER. pretty intense when you got the family watching, ha. it was all good in the end.

and now i will sleep. cardinal rule of being on call is sleep when you can. and i got a shower in already. yay! chao chao!

Friday, February 12, 2010


i'm tired tonight. alas. i have to go in and have notes written by 7:00 am...not bad, i don't have to stay for rounds or anything, but i guess it's a bit annoying. but then i have nothing to do on sunday! yay. next week will start either trauma or acute care surgery...only 1 last week of surgery left. then we have a test, and many days off! it's glorious. i have a meeting coming up that i'm a bit nervous about, but i think it will end up being ok.

i have this addiction to sour gummy worms. omg. can't stop!

anyone watching the olympics?

this post is just lame. alas. i wanted to blog, but i'm tired too. so that's lame. also, i really want to go shopping. for cute fun stuff. that i won't wear. because i wear scrubs. or just boring pants + shirt. donde esta the money? blah.

ok, opening ceremony starting...chao!

Sunday, February 07, 2010

go saints!

i'm really excited about today, since i have been a saints fan since i guess i was born. saints by default. i really really want them to beat the colts, i just want them to WIN! i'm going to a party later today, and in the NOLA spirit i'm making a king cake. i'm just hoping it's better than my first attempt, where the filling exploded out and the baby jesus "almond" came out and all. but i think this time will be better. it's currently in its first rising.

i sent an email today to an attending i had on CT surgery who told me "keep me in touch" at the end of my 2 weeks telling him that i have decided on general surgery, more or less. (i didn't say "more or less", ha.) i have spent the last few weeks telling myself that...and i'm becoming more comfortable with the idea...i guess the only thing really holding me back is that i know i'm not a very competitive student, and i'm scared of failing at getting into a residency. the best thing i can do now is just make a wonderful step 2 ck score. after surgery is over this month i will begin officially my step 2 studying. 5 year residency! aaah! so long, BUT when i think about it, if i did anything else, i would specialize. take peds, if i did end up doing peds, i would want to specialize in something, which would add 2-3 years anyway. that would be 5-6 years right there to specialize. so i guess it works out anyway. it's just scary. everything moves so fast in med school, it almost seems unfair that we have to pick as soon as we do. someone i know was going to do internal medicine, and then happened to do a pathology month in JANUARY and then SWITCHED! after he had gone on medicine interviews! so he's gone on 1 path interview at our school, and just hoping that he matches there. 1 interview. switching in january? it's so scary. and they want us to know like now what we want to do. it makes me want to vomit sometimes.

i've gotten really good comments (at least in my opinion) so far. i'm sure most people get good comments, but i guess since i haven't gotten any bad ones, that helps me out? and i don't necessarily know everything that i should, but i get EXCITED!!! ha, i think i scare some of the surgeons because i'm a bit too eager, but i think they appreciate the FUN i bring to the table. i mean, who gets excited about retracting with a damn malleable? ME! haha...

H and i racked the orange wine yesterday, and it's bubbling well. i hope it tastes better than what it tasted like yesterday...haha. it's still got some clarifying to do...

now i'm thinking about lunch...i'm thinking a veggie fried rice...i have broccoli, asparagus, tofu, and rice, so hoping it tastes good. reserving the lovely solitary egg i have for the egg wash on the king cake. and i'm doing a cream cheese filling for it. and glazes with appropriate colored sugars. i'm using orange to flavor everything...blood orange, to be precise. and the COLOR of the juiced blood oranges is quite lovely. LOVELY!

ok, i will start cooking now and then do some reading in between tending to my cake. good day everyone...

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

post the call

today has been a post call day...which means i got home before lunch, did laundry, ate, and then slept until H called me around 5:00. then since then i've just been lazing about...i think i'm going to bed soon anyways.

call last night was alright...i managed to get about 4.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but the bed is horrible and i woke up not refreshed. alas. and i was cold. we had 2 bravo pages, nothing incredibly thrilling.

i finally scheduled my step 2 ck tonight...june 11. i hope i'm ready to make an awesome score then, but if i'm not ready, i can push it back. H and i are planning a 2 week vacation to spain in june so i wanted to take my test before we left, and then M4 year starts july 1. i've been thinking about M4 year's a bit daunting. i would love to do 2 away rotations, but at the very least doing 1. problem is, i don't know where yet. i really want to have an advisory type meeting, but i just am not really sure who to go talk to. sounds like i got to visit the med school mama tomorrow during my down time...i also need to meet up with one of the M4s doing gen surg...i need some counseling!

man, that's crazy. i went from wanting to do peds to peds genetics to ob/gyn to gen surg...??? and i'm still not even 100% sure yet? it's a bit scary...i just need to focus on doing well throughout the rest of this year, acing the step 2, and then i can keep on after that. sigh.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

what did i do today?

so what have i done today? let me think...
  • woke up at 4:00 am. wednesdays are special.
  • went to the hospital and found out one of my patients died over the night. which was not unexpected. which was sad because i predicted he was probably going to pass away last night, and he did.
  • stuck my finger in two different butt holes. gotta love the rectal exams!
  • saw 3 colonoscopies.
  • passed up the chance to scrub into an EVAR (endoscopic abdominal aortic aneurysm repair) since i have scrubbed TWO OPEN AAA REPAIRS THIS WEEK. oh yeah, i don't think i want to be a vascular surgeon, ha. too much squirty blood.
  • ate some good lunch. and peach cobbler. oh yeah.
  • realized that my gastritis/ulcer/whateverthehellitis is starting to act up again. need to buy some PPI to fix that stat.
  • scrubbed in a laparoscopic gastrojejunostomy and got to DRIVE THE CAMERA! and i didn't get told that i sucked or anything, so maybe i did a good job? it was fun! i'm glad i played all those video games growing up.
  • got to put down some bandaids on a patient, got overly excited (because i got to do something finally) and the resident laughed a lot.
  • left the hospital after being there 13 hours. THIRTEEN! there went my gym time. (i'll go tomorrow, no big deal.)
  • came home and ate some curry chicken with H. yums.
so now i'm laying on the couch and blogging. and i'm sleepy. i'm probably going to bed within the next 10-15 minutes. but i want to watch the state of the union address. or finish it, at least. nancy pelosi blinks too damn much! and joe biden is funny because he keeps grinning and/or clapping at inappropriate moments. and i love how obama is putting some jokes in his speech. it makes it lively. and michelle can do no wrong!

i'm so excited about his weekend...i have the whole weekend OFF! and my school is having a kick ass party on friday with awesome music and good beer. gotta love music and beer. especially after a hard week. but i don't care if the week is hard. i'm telling all the residents and attendings that i really enjoy surgery and that i'm seriously considering it as a career, and so far i've gotten good feedback. this week i got an eval back from my last 2 week rotation and the surgeon commented that i had "good surgical skills". that made me so happy! and i don't care if it's a generic comment, i'm just happy that someone noted that about me.

oh yeah, and i need to put my date down for step 2 CK. i've got my permit, just got to schedule it and start studying like a mofo. i wanna get a 300! hahahaha, i kid i kid. but seriously, i have to do well. for reals.

alright, time to go to bed before i say something weird, but i guess it's too late for that. night!