ok, so i haven't had to see more bloody mess, but today i did my first ever cervical check! and i felt a whole lotta baby HEAD. how nice. at least i wasn't like my friend (hee hee) and totally miss the vagina and head towards the anus...she redeemed herself on her second try, no worries! i really never had a clue in how deep your hand goes up in there to check for dilation and effacement...and it's definitely not as scary as i thought it would be. had no hesitations when my intern was like "gloves on, here's the jelly, and check that cervix for me". nothing like the "gotta check your bottom for blood in your stool"...maybe because things are meant to go in vaginas and not anuses?
so as of today, i'm still undecided as ob/gyn as a career...i really like the IDEA of being an ob/gyn doc...but i don't know if i'm cut out to do it as a career. the residency, from what i've seen so far, is pretty intense. the interns are basically pooped on constantly, and everyone who is above you seems to be a little too eager to point out your flaws. i know everyone will get critiques, but today i witnessed an incident that if it were happening to ME, i would have been like GET OUT OF MY FACE. or something like that. or i would have probably taken it, like i saw the residents do (while being admonished by the attending for not a big reason), and grumbled and giggled to the med student (like the upper level did, ha!) and went and fixed the problem. it makes me wonder if all ob/gyn residencies are that intense, or if it's just my program in particular. at the very least, ob/gyns are VERY different than internal medicine folks. alas.
a look on the bright side, i really enjoy reading ob/gyn things...it's just really interesting. so with that, i'm going to start reading up on maternal/fetal physiology...joy!