so today was my first official freak out of the school year. gotta say, not so bad. i expected it to be a lot earlier in the year. i think i managed a little over 2 months freak out free. it's ok though, sometimes you just have to let things run its course. i knew that today was going to be it because i got back a test grade that i did not expect and it made me feel very disappointed in myself. then we had physiology lectures where the professor hasn't really gotten this marriage of powerpoint/lecture/real-time quiz thing down really well, so that class was quite frustrating and i felt quite unproductive and confused most of the time. then i got some headaches during pre gross lab lecture (it's weird, my stress this year manifests as severe headaches. last year it was GI distress...) and that was annoying. then lab, which was good, but my lab group was kinda out of sorts so there was weird vibes. plus standing under the lights for a few hours really dehydrates me, then chewing the same piece of gum for hours gets kinda gross, and the smells of the abdomen just aren't that peachy. then coming home, i did mindless chores that i've been neglecting (studying for that damn test yesterday!) and then puttered around. then BAM it just kinda hit me that i'm freaking out! so i freaked for like 10 minutes, then it was over. quite efficient actually...hahaha.
but today wasn't all the way horrible. lab was good after all, since we did see all our structures that we needed to see, and i had a nice dinner of red beans and rice. and the freakout was only 10 minutes. that's an accomplishment in itself! :-)