Tuesday, May 29, 2007

i am a failure...

at giving blood, that is.

so in all my years of living, i have yet to donate blood. my hospital i work at is having a blood donor drive this week, and so i decided that TODAY, may 29, would be the day to give my first pint of blood. i make sure to eat a nice breakfast and i psyched myself up. (important foreshadowing: for those of you that don't know, i'm incredibly squeamish about needles being poked into me to get blood since i've always had a hard time giving blood up for medical reasons. i've had blood drawn all OVER my arms, my fingers, tops of my hands, you name it, and so naturally, i'm squeamish.)

i have a nice intimate "interview" with a pleasant guy. questions consisted of "have you been to a foreign country in the past 3 years?" i answered yes, and then was surprised to see cochabamba, bolivia, on a list of "bad" countries, but since it's been over a year of being there, i was ok. another question was "have you ever had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?" my word! that's such a horrible question! and i was thinking, how would the general population ever know the answer to that? pleasant guy then stuck my finger to see if my iron levels were high enough, and i passed that test, but felt really squeamish about the finger prick. uh oh.

then i was sent back to the bloodletting area, and at this point it became known to all the bloodletters back there that i was a first timer who was quite nervous, which was the exact truth. i lay back in a chair, a lady says that she'll "take care" of me, which i believe her. she sticks me with this HUGE needle after finding a vein in my left arm. i appropriately turn my head away, not looking. i thought to myself, "wow, that didn't hurt too bad at all!" then i ask "is blood coming out yet?" no answer. i keep asking it, no answer. then a whole SWARM OF BLOODLETTERS descended upon me to "see what was going on" and then i got REALLY nervous. what was actually happening was that she was digging the needle around to get my squeamish vein, and the more she ignored me, and the more people descended around me, the more nervous i got and *poof!* my vein "rolled away". the whole time i could feel the needle moving around, which while it didn't hurt, it felt really weird, and i could feel myself getting very lightheaded and fainty feeling. then they claim that they couldn't get a good vein in my right arm, so i was sent away. BEGONE!

mind you, at this point my ego was incredibly deflated, and all that adrenaline in my system had nowhere to go, and i was quite pissed. i mean, i've worked myself up to the point where i CAN give blood, because i feel like if i'm going to be a good doctor one day then i should be donating my blood anyway, and then i go to do so, and they can't stick my damn vein! needless to say, i wasn't very happy, but the bloodletting supervisor told me to come back on thursday and he would personally do my stick. they gave me a t-shirt and i don't even want to look at it because i know it's ALL A LIE.

I WALKED AROUND THE HOSPITAL WITH A T-SHIRT AND THE FLOURESCENT ARM BANDAID THINGY AND I WAS A FRAUD. A BLOOD DONOR LIAR.

the folks at the blood donor front desk tried to help me feel better, saying that most people wouldn't even take the time to try to donate blood, and that i should come back and i shouldn't be so nervous the next time. i guess they're right, i just hated being a faker. (plus my brain was all confused...you got stuck for nothing? shame on you!) but in all honestly, the needle stick didn't hurt too bad since they had sufficiently cut off all my circulation to my arm so i didn't feel anything anyway. so if i'm not too bruised, i'll go back thursday. if not then, i know where they're located and i'll just show up at their facility that's right down the road from where i live.

in other news, i look like i'm a drug user since i have this huge hole in my arm. somehow, that is not satisfying to me.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

little brother graduation

my younger brother graduated from high school on friday, and today was the church "memorial" type service. aaw, all grown up. he got STAR student and salutatorian just like his big sister. how cute! he'll also be going to my alma mater, getting a degree in engineering (not chemical like me, but *gasp* GENERAL), honors college, and maybe med school just like me! i say he had a good role model to look up at, my dad claims we just had good coaching...

another thing, my brother and i are all quite a bit older than our cousins, so whenever we're out and the cousins are around, people assume that the cousins are MY kids. i don't think so! just because we all have a touch of asian doesn't mean that i've birthed all of them. please. at the church line-up today someone thought the cousins were my kids (more than once), and the kicker...someone thought i was my BROTHER'S mom. i had to seriously correct that. i remember once a few years ago folks thought that me and him were boyfriend/girlfriend, and that really grossed me out. i'm only 22, he's 18, and no, i don't have 2 kids that are 5 and 8 years old.

so now i'm just sitting around at my parents' house watching the indy 500. i took off work tomorrow, but i *might* go for an hour or two, but i probably won't. in the meantime, i've been researching eye disorders/malformations. oh, and my newest "i want to be a _____ doctor" is emergency physician. let's see how that obsession pans out...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

it's a tuesday

hello all...

today worked crawled along, and all my moments of having nothing to do (i guess that's the perk of having a job where you are dependent on others doing something, you do a lot of setting around), i've started "reviewing" for med school. i have this gross anatomy coloring book that i bought at border's for around $5 and a bunch of colored pencils and i'm going at it like a rabid kindergartener who's intent on making several modern masterpieces of the scribbles motif. so far i've completed the skeletal system and half of the muscular system...mind you that it's not SUPER in depth, but in depth enough that as i color, i think to myself "oh yeah, i remember slicing that on accident", or "yep, chopped that one up", or even "oops, broke that rib!". so i guess that's the whole point really, to get my brain to remember some stuff and to take up time at work.

another thing i did today to take up time is clean up my gmail inbox. now, i love gmail so much, and being able to search and delete all sorts of emails and chats was quite satisfying. a cleansing of the soul, if you will. reading old emails, and then laughing about the "old times", and then hitting DELETE...so much fun. it was like getting a very satisfying back scratch from somebody with good nails that weren't too pointy so that you ended up with cat-claw marks.

one of the echo techs, C, and i had a long philosophical conversation about when a guy pursuing a girl crosses from being "persistent" to "stalkerish" to "full blown stalker". we each had our opening arguments and whatnot, so that made for a fun little time waster.

also at work, i've gotten the reputation as the girl who always cooks dinner with her boyfriend. so that means everyday at least two or three people will ask me what i cooked for dinner and/or what did i bring to lunch today. then they always have words of jealousy to say, wishing that they could eat so well. HA. so today when i ate my chicken tortilla soup, i had a group of salivating folks just staring at me, eating my heart out. BOO-YA!

and with that, i should assist in the making of some shrimp creole...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

hurrah for the cath lab

dear readers,

yesterday was my birthday, as evy's comment said, and it was a wonderful day. cath lab was so nice and even got me a cake! (i must write thank you notes tonight...). all said, yesterday was quite terrific, even though it wasn't as climactic as last year's, but hey, now i'm a double deuce, and that's fun. the real party will start tomorrow and last through the weekend (or at least till saturday night), so that will be fun too.

work is work. a lot less stressful now since S the temp worker is there, she's amazing and a lot of fun to work with. work is a joyful thing now...haha.

i got cleared to go back to medical school on monday. so august 7 i start orientation all over again as a "new" student. am i nervous? a little bit. worried? a little bit. i will admit that i'm more excited about school this time around, since last year it was like "oh yeah, i'm going to school. big whup." this year it's "i'm going to school, and i want to do good and do stuff!" and i've got a team, you know, like a really good friend that i've made (who is also on leave) that will be great for motivation. i also want to be a volunteer coordinator or something, be somebody that kinda gets the class to work together as a team instead of how last year, it seemed like my class was all cliques and i seriously hated most everybody. i have some good ideas for fundraisers that would get stuff going i think, and so i hope to be able to do some things like that this new year.

so yeah, i'll try to post more regularly. sorry i've been neglectful. must go cook pad thai now!

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oh, and i hope you like the new color scheme. i was told it was hard to read my text since the colors were weird or something.