Friday, February 23, 2007

02 23 2007 in numbers

today in numerical form:

-bed pans catalog number H110-00 stocked: 6
-boxes missing in my early morning shipment: 1
-messages checked in voicemail: 1
-patients i personally scheduled for today: 15
-number of add-ons: 8-10 (at least)
-projected revenue for today: ≤ $1,000,000
-cakes delivered to the control room that i did not eat because of lent: 3
-phone calls received: bazillion
-phone hang-ups in my face: 4
-number of apologies for hanging up in my face after realizing their stupidity: 1
-instances of me muttering expletives under my breath after hang-ups: 4
-minutes spent in staff meeting: 37
-personally showed someone the vascular lab (it's hard to find): 1
-electrophysiology studies scheduled for monday: 4
-minutes spent on lunch break: 30
-catheters received: 1
-times i had to ask receiving to fax me a packing slip: 2
-times i did not receive packing slip: 2
-emails sent to the big receiving boss: 1
-packing slips then received promptly: 1
-scanned email attachments with said packing slip: 1
-sudoku and/or crossword puzzles attempted: 4
-sudoku and/or crossword puzzles completed: 2
-overtime hours worked: 2.60
-bathrooms clogged because people don't know how to flush: 1
-letters received: 1
-echo (cardiac ultrasound) extension: 3352
-cardiac stress extension: 3343
-EKG extension: 1767
-vascular lab: 1201
-nuclear: 1012
-personal work telephone lines: 2
-how to dial the overhead paging system: speed-dial 49
-pregnant nurses in the cath lab: 2
-judkins packs in one case: 20
-cost of 1 retrograde left heart cath, percutaneous: $1,660
-employee discount at cafeteria: 24% off
-weekend staff birthdays: 3
-staff birthday flyers made and put up: 6
-boogers hanging from pretentious doctor's nose that i did not say anything about: 1

that is all for today.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

rude company

disclaimer: since J is out sick with the flu (i'm glad i didn't get it!), i am playing front desk receptionist for an indefinite amount of time.

seems like a series i'm making. not only are there strange people that go to the hospital, there are rude people too! today there were 2 instances of rude people waiting for outpatient tests, and they were both a bit slow too. (may i add that the only rude people that i've encountered are the ones that don't really understand what's going on, and seem "slow" on first aquaintance.)

the first guy, a white male, showed up to the front desk. usually what happens is that they're escorted, and they also give me their papers that detail what department/procedure they are going to undergo. this guy, however, didn't have his papers, and looked like someone i didn't want to piss off. i announced him anyway, and the nurse comes out and asks where his papers were, and the guy was obnoxiously telling her "what papers" or something, but luckily the transporter went and got the papers. problem solved. guy goes away, does his procedure, and is told to wait 45 minutes until a camera or something like that is ready. 60 minutes later, he comes tearing back to the front desk DEMANDING that he get seen or he's leaving. or else. nurse asks why, and he won't tell her. she asks "are you hungry?" turns out the guy was hungry and wanted something, so she got him crackers, peanut butter and juice. i guess he was happy, because i didn't hear a peep from him after that, but he did have the decency to throw his trash away in the magazine holder, rather than the trashcan.

the second person was a woman there for a stress test. (note: there are two types of stress tests. one involves walking on a treadmill to boost up the heart rate, and the second involves being injected with radioactive drugs to "stress" the heart. the second way is done when the first test is inconclusive or the person cannot walk.) the woman looked very irritated; she was there yesterday for the treadmill, and there today for the injections. i actually came and sat at the front (rather than my cubicle) because she was being shifty. she gets up to ask me something, and at that moment, 2 doctors and a barrage of phone calls came to my attention, so i had to ask her to please wait while i handled everything. usually people understand, but not her. she got really irritated and instructed me to find out what kind of test she was having because she thought the people were wrong. i asked her what kind of test she was having, she said stress but she did the treadmill yesterday, and so i had to explain to her numerous times about the injection method, but i guess she didn't believe me, because she kept telling me to "figure out what's being done". sorry lady, i told her to just wait because that department was quite busy and that they would come to get her. she waited about 5 minutes, and then got up and to figure it out on her own. luckily another nurse from a different dept. was there, and got her to sit down in a seat closer to her final destination, but not quite. that pacified her for a little bit, then she got pissy again. i later passed by the door of the room where she was having her procedure done, and she still looked pissed and was grumbling menacingly to herself.

i don't think i captured the anger fully represented in these two instances, but those people, in addition to people crowding up the front desk area, plus one guy who's always a little too friendly to me, freaked me out to where i hid in my cubicle for a few hours.

at least i still kept my manners!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

strange company

understandably the hospital i work at is one of the main "go to" hospitals in this area. just from listening to the conversations in the waiting room, some folks will drive 2-3 hours just to come here to get whatever procedure they need done. also understandably that means you will have affluent people, normal people, and then weirdo people coming. what follows is a story about the weirdo people.

on tuesday a group of 3 (one woman and two men) come to our department from the ER. one of the men was experiencing pains on his left side and kept clutching at his heart area. these people looked weird. and usually whenever there are weird people in the waiting area, J will intercom me or something similar to tell me to come over and look at the weird people. (i know, it's a little mean, but we have to have some joy in our workday!) so i go over there to "pick up copies" or something, and the woman was quite obese, had very short crew cut hair, and was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top (that even i wouldn't wear in public) with no bra, and a short skirt/shorts. she even looked as if she could be mentally not all there. the two guys, the one who was in pain was short, and the other one was tall. they were both dressed in plaid shirts and jeans for the most part. all three looked like white trash, if i may.

so J starts talking to them, being friendly, and the woman was obviously domineering the whole conversation, wouldn't let the men talk. J asks the short man if he's the one here for the procedure, and the woman said "yes, my husband's here for the ___ test". then J goes to the other guy, "so this is your brother? how nice of him to come too!" and then the woman goes, "that's not his brother, that's my BOYFRIEND." so evidently, the woman who looks mentally not all there and who wears no bra has a husband AND a boyfriend, and they all live together in the same house IN THE SAME COUNTY as i live along with her and her husband's 3 year old kid that the boyfriend takes care of. but never fear, the husband does all the cooking and cleaning while the boyfriend rubs the woman's feet (which he so plainly demonstrated in the waiting room). and to top all that off, the two men are COUSINS. yes, i'll say it again, COUSINS.

so the people are just weird, and the woman is just telling J how it is, and then proceeds to say the n-word in front of J's face (who is black). J tells me she's going on break because she can't handle it anymore, and then i go to relieve her. the woman starts telling me about all her tattoos and proceeds to show them all to me, which is kinda gross because she ain't wearing much clothes to begin with and no bra, so she was already hanging out, but she so kindly moved straps out of the way to show me what she has. and the boyfriend showed me his too, and said that their preacher thought his tattoo looked like witchcraft. (so evidently the polyamorous weird lady goes to church too...)

so when the husband comes back from his test, he's still in tons of pain. the woman said that she had no time for that, and proceeded to leave. the boyfriend and the nurse try to convince the guy to go back to the ER, and they even got one of our transporters to take him there, but alas, the woman wanted her dinner and her footrub, so i don't think that husband got any more treatment.

the moral of this story? weirdos go to the hospital too, and that jerry springer-esque white trash can live in your backyard without you even knowing it. everybody was talking about them for a while...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

february update

hola friends. as i sit here and snack on my 1 cup of heart healthy kashi cereal (that is reminiscent of honey nut cheerios minus 78.3% of the flavor, and also, 1 cup of cereal is NOT enough to make any normal person full, but never mind that the recommended serving size is 3/4 cup), i realize that i have not provided an update of any kind for a long time. i know that i rant about the obese every so often, so i've kept up my "i try to eat healthy" diet at home and at work, and the nurses and staff always comment on my lunches, telling me how strong my willpower is for getting healthy stuff. it's really simple, actually. i don't get stuff that is swimming in grease, and that will easily knock out most of the menu, plus the desserts are too yucky looking, and who wants sugar-free flavored gelatin? i mean, try to entice me by calling it jell-o, not gelatin, but i guess that would infringe on the copyright laws, since they probably use sysco jello and not jell-o jello. and i'm going to the YMCA to workout once i feel that rush hour traffic has died a little bit.

what else about work? well, today (and tomorrow for that matter) the secretary wasn't in, so i had to do two jobs at once today, which resulted in feelings of frustration and a mild headache. i had no time to get coffee because the phones kept ringing, and doing my inventory job was a pain in the a$$ because the phones kept ringing. then people would get upset with me because i didn't know how to do something that i'm not supposed to know anyway, but who cares about that! i could feel my stress-toleration level being encroached, and luckily it occurred near lunch so i went and ate fried chicken, mac and cheese, and a side salad while staring at people perform construction duties. (i'm going to the YMCA to work out, so that cancels out the friend chicken.) it became my 15 minutes of solitude i suppose, but i had to go to work after my tiny lunch because i have to have someone sit the desk while i try to perform my inventory duties really fast as to not annoy the person relieving me. and now as i think about it, i think i may ask my boss for a microphone thing for my desk so i don't have to run around a lot. but running around is good for burning calories...hahaha...i'll stop now!

and i shouldn't complain too much, for this is a temporary job. but i've thought some, and i have planned out my next couple of years. if med school doesn't work out the second time, i'm going to go to grad school and get my master's in chemical or biomedical engineering so i can brush up on everything, and then go work or go to more school, whatever i feel like. of course, the desired end product is me being a medical doctor, but now i feel like i have the best and worst case scenarios semi-planned out, and that makes me feel a little more in control of my life and also puts things in perspective. and if you know me personally, you'll understand what i'm saying since i'm a weird anal retentive "must have a long term vision/goal" sort of person. plus if i have the big picture figured out, i can have more fun enjoying the random/spontaneous things that just seem to pop up, and also not sweat the small stuff, since i know the big picture. isn't that neat how it seems to play off each other?

ok, the workout place calls to me, and i must go. chao!